Blog

  • Crushing on chicks makes your brain goofy

    “A good romantic partner makes everything in life easier. A bad romantic partner makes everything more difficult. Therefore, relationship skills are some of the most important skills for life.” – Mark Manson
    ​

    Happy Friday.
    ​
    ​We’ve had some valuable discussions on dating, love and relationships inside The Path recently, so I wanted to share a few of the highlights today.
    ​
    Enjoy.

    They Aren’t Teachers, They’re Triggers.
    ​​
    Romantic partners are, in many cases, our most powerful teachers — but they rarely teach through words.
    ​
    Far more often, they teach experientially:
    ​
    By triggering parts of us (in pleasant and unpleasant ways) so we can look at ourselves more clearly.
    ​
    This is far more valuable than linear teaching, but we need to read between the lines to receive it…

    Stop Approaching & Just Be Friendly​
    ​
    In the past I’ve found that “approaching” people is kind of the wrong angle…
    ​
    What felt better for me was just generally chatting with people, not hitting on anyone, just being friendly with everyone and seeing which seeds sprout.
    ​
    You could start with something really simple and add one sentence (“how’s your day going?”) every time you interact with a cashier or someone in your yoga class.
    ​
    Don’t make it about finding a date / soul mate, just make it about being friendly.

    Crushing On Chicks Turns Our Brain Goofy​
    ​
    My working theory on love & neurochemistry:
    ​
    Liking a girl, at least in the early stages, turns our brain goofy.
    ​
    The serotonin / dopamine / oxytocin soup our brain cooks up when we’re crushing on someone makes us less productive, more reactive, prone to poor decisions, and overall, simply, dumber.
    ​
    And yet, in the end:
    ​
    ​Life is still better for it. ​
    ​
    Monk mode is overrated fellas, get out there and mix it up.

    Have an awesome weekend over there.
    ​
    You deserve it.
    ​

    • T
      ​
      ​P.S. Many, many thanks to everyone who left a rating and review for the new podcast.
      ​
      And, in case you missed it yesterday, here’s the deal:
      ​
      Everyone who leaves a rating and review on Apple Podcasts (turns out Spotify doesn’t allow reviews, so Apple is best) and replies to this email with a screenshot will receive access to one of the best recordings from this year’s retreat:
      ​
      ​Happiness: A practical guide to life strategy.​
      ​
      (not even shared with our Path members, yet!)
      ​
      Thank you, again and always, for your support of this work.

    “I don’t believe in magic”, the young boy said. The old man smiled: “You will, when you see her.” – Atticus

  • Degree of difficulty doesn’t count.

    “Degree of difficulty doesn’t count. There aren’t more points for accomplishing something really hard.” – Nick Huber
    ​

    Tattoo this one across your mind so it can never be forgotten:

    Degree of difficulty doesn’t count.
    ​
    Nobody cares how many hours you spend in the gym, they only care how well you deliver on game day.
    ​
    And, the deeper truth separating big-game players from underperforming gym rats:
    ​
    ​Big-game players get the biggest bang from the smallest spark.
    ​​
    They squeeze the largest output from he smallest input; the most reward for the least work.
    ​
    If the goal can be accomplished with 1% effort, they don’t crank it to 100% just to tickle their own ego:
    ​
    They tick it off at 1% and move the fxck on.
    ​
    Which means — no calculator needed:
    ​
    ​100x the result for the same amount of work.
    ​​
    The scoreboard doesn’t lie, difficulty doesn’t matter, and work ethic without results is a waste.
    ​
    Take that, Goggins.
    ​

    • T
      ​
      ​P.S. Along those lines:
      ​
      ​Here’s a big-bang, no-cost, zero-time-investment habit that will multiply your results across every domain of life…​
  • The universe speaks the language of energy

    “You are not in this world. This world is in you.” – Nisargadatta Maharaj
    ​
    There’s a goofy little meme working its way through pop-psychology circles that goes something like…
    ​
    “Life is not happening to you, life is happening for you.”
    ​
    It’s a cozy idea:
    ​
    A sort of psycho-spiritual Xanax (Spanax!) that spreads a soft film of pleasure around life’s sharp edges.
    ​
    (Spanax: When life sucks, it can feel good too!™)
    ​
    It’s also not true.
    ​
    Life is not happening to you, or for you:
    ​
    Life is responding to you.
    ​
    In other words:
    ​​
    You’re getting what you’re giving. ​
    ​
    Walk into a party off-gassing a bunch of twisted-up negativity, and people will respond in kind.
    ​
    Now, scale that to the rest of reality, and we’re finally seeing through clear eyes:
    ​
    The universe speaks the language of energy, and it doesn’t respond the way we want it to, it responds the way we respond to it.​
    ​
    Said another way:
    ​
    ​Our outer world is always directly and immediately reflecting of our inner world…​
    ​
    …Which means the responsibility to create it, shape it, and make it our own, is on us.
    ​
    Freeing, isn’t it?
    ​

    • T
      ​
      ​P.S. This just dropped… ​
  • 3 things to check out this weekend | 18.10.24

    “Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak. The fiercest storms rise from the calmest seas.” – Tommy Shelby, Peaky Blinders
    ​

    Happy Friday.
    ​
    ​Here are three (four) more recs for your weekend, including one that might go on our all-time list if we ever make one.
    ​
    Enjoy.

    ​The Most Dangerous Country On Earth​
    ​​
    If life feels hard right now, watch this video.
    ​
    We all need to be reality-checked once in a while.

    ​Craig Ferguson: Stop Being Nervous Around Women​
    ​
    The communication God himself drops well-earned wisdom on how to stop being nervous around women.
    ​
    (originally shared in The Path during our Advanced Communication release)
    ​
    For extra points, here’s Craig in action.​

    ​Peaky Blinders (All Time)​
    ​
    I’m re-watching this show for the first time since 2019 (still haven’t seen the final season), and it’s blowing my mind all over again.
    ​
    It’s a little (lot) dark in spots, but what it lacks in warm-and-fuzziness is more than made up for in shining, world-class quality.

    S-Tier.

    ​BONUS: Binaural beats for working​
    ​
    I like to listen to binaural beats / ambient sound while working, and this channel is my current favorite source.
    ​
    Cool visuals as well.

    Have an awesome weekend over there.
    ​
    You deserve it.
    ​

    • T
      ​
      ​P.S. In case you missed it earlier this week…
  • More Bangers

    “What weapon will slay the dragon? Whatever weapon is in my hands.”
    ​

    A few weeks ago, we started keeping an Insight Log inside The Path:

    ​
    A special section where our members share short, quick-hitting insights, quotes, and ideas as they come to mind throughout the day.

    ​
    It is absolutely popping off.

    ​
    Here’s a peek at a few of my favorite insights from the past week:

    The Real Value of Small Talk

    shared by Adan Maldonado
    ​
    “Small talk is basically a short ritual that allows your nervous system to regulate in the presence of another human before you can begin to open up.”

    The Ultimate Problem-Solving Frame

    shared by me
    ​
    “None of this is a problem, and solutions are abundant.”
    ​
    The ultimate functional-and-accurate problem-solving frame; applies to damn near everything.
    ​
    Let it permeate your mind until you feel it in your energy.

    Simon’s Insights

    shared by Simon Bitan
    ​
    “What weapon will slay the dragon? Whatever weapon is in my hands.”
    ​
    “A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
    ​
    “Perhaps happiness is separate from wanting and not wanting.”

    Feeding Your Awareness
    ​shared by Callum Suttie
    ​
    ​“The more you feed into your awareness the less it can focus on anything; the less you feed into your awareness the sharper and more clear it becomes.”

    The Shrinking Brain
    ​shared by me, via. Chris Williamson
    ​
    “The human brain, after growing for millions of years, has begun shrinking over the last ten thousand years.
    ​
    Such shrinkage is consistent with increased cultural innovation, which allows more people to survive even if they’re not particularly bright.
    ​
    They can get away with not coming up with the best answers but simply copying what most other people are doing.” – Rob Henderson & Michael Muthukrishna

    There are many more, of course, inside The Path — these are just a few that resonated for me this past week.
    ​
    I hope you enjoy, and benefit.
    ​

    • T
      ​
      ​P.S. In case you missed it…