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Crushing on chicks makes your brain goofy
“A good romantic partner makes everything in life easier. A bad romantic partner makes everything more difficult. Therefore, relationship skills are some of the most important skills for life.” – Mark Manson
Happy Friday.
We’ve had some valuable discussions on dating, love and relationships inside The Path recently, so I wanted to share a few of the highlights today.
Enjoy.They Aren’t Teachers, They’re Triggers.
Romantic partners are, in many cases, our most powerful teachers — but they rarely teach through words.
Far more often, they teach experientially:
By triggering parts of us (in pleasant and unpleasant ways) so we can look at ourselves more clearly.
This is far more valuable than linear teaching, but we need to read between the lines to receive it…Stop Approaching & Just Be Friendly
In the past I’ve found that “approaching” people is kind of the wrong angle…
What felt better for me was just generally chatting with people, not hitting on anyone, just being friendly with everyone and seeing which seeds sprout.
You could start with something really simple and add one sentence (“how’s your day going?”) every time you interact with a cashier or someone in your yoga class.
Don’t make it about finding a date / soul mate, just make it about being friendly.Crushing On Chicks Turns Our Brain Goofy
My working theory on love & neurochemistry:
Liking a girl, at least in the early stages, turns our brain goofy.
The serotonin / dopamine / oxytocin soup our brain cooks up when we’re crushing on someone makes us less productive, more reactive, prone to poor decisions, and overall, simply, dumber.
And yet, in the end:
Life is still better for it.
Monk mode is overrated fellas, get out there and mix it up.Have an awesome weekend over there.
You deserve it.
- T
P.S. Many, many thanks to everyone who left a rating and review for the new podcast.
And, in case you missed it yesterday, here’s the deal:
Everyone who leaves a rating and review on Apple Podcasts (turns out Spotify doesn’t allow reviews, so Apple is best) and replies to this email with a screenshot will receive access to one of the best recordings from this year’s retreat:
Happiness: A practical guide to life strategy.
(not even shared with our Path members, yet!)
Thank you, again and always, for your support of this work.
“I don’t believe in magic”, the young boy said. The old man smiled: “You will, when you see her.” – Atticus
- T
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Degree of difficulty doesn’t count.
“Degree of difficulty doesn’t count. There aren’t more points for accomplishing something really hard.” – Nick Huber
Tattoo this one across your mind so it can never be forgotten:
Degree of difficulty doesn’t count.
Nobody cares how many hours you spend in the gym, they only care how well you deliver on game day.
And, the deeper truth separating big-game players from underperforming gym rats:
Big-game players get the biggest bang from the smallest spark.
They squeeze the largest output from he smallest input; the most reward for the least work.
If the goal can be accomplished with 1% effort, they don’t crank it to 100% just to tickle their own ego:
They tick it off at 1% and move the fxck on.
Which means — no calculator needed:
100x the result for the same amount of work.
The scoreboard doesn’t lie, difficulty doesn’t matter, and work ethic without results is a waste.
Take that, Goggins.
- T
P.S. Along those lines:
Here’s a big-bang, no-cost, zero-time-investment habit that will multiply your results across every domain of life…
- T
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The universe speaks the language of energy
“You are not in this world. This world is in you.” – Nisargadatta Maharaj
There’s a goofy little meme working its way through pop-psychology circles that goes something like…
“Life is not happening to you, life is happening for you.”
It’s a cozy idea:
A sort of psycho-spiritual Xanax (Spanax!) that spreads a soft film of pleasure around life’s sharp edges.
(Spanax: When life sucks, it can feel good too!™)
It’s also not true.
Life is not happening to you, or for you:
Life is responding to you.
In other words:
You’re getting what you’re giving.
Walk into a party off-gassing a bunch of twisted-up negativity, and people will respond in kind.
Now, scale that to the rest of reality, and we’re finally seeing through clear eyes:
The universe speaks the language of energy, and it doesn’t respond the way we want it to, it responds the way we respond to it.
Said another way:
Our outer world is always directly and immediately reflecting of our inner world…
…Which means the responsibility to create it, shape it, and make it our own, is on us.
Freeing, isn’t it?
- T
P.S. This just dropped…
- T
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3 things to check out this weekend | 18.10.24
“Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak. The fiercest storms rise from the calmest seas.” – Tommy Shelby, Peaky Blinders
Happy Friday.
Here are three (four) more recs for your weekend, including one that might go on our all-time list if we ever make one.
Enjoy.The Most Dangerous Country On Earth
If life feels hard right now, watch this video.
We all need to be reality-checked once in a while.Craig Ferguson: Stop Being Nervous Around Women
The communication God himself drops well-earned wisdom on how to stop being nervous around women.
(originally shared in The Path during our Advanced Communication release)
For extra points, here’s Craig in action.Peaky Blinders (All Time)
I’m re-watching this show for the first time since 2019 (still haven’t seen the final season), and it’s blowing my mind all over again.
It’s a little (lot) dark in spots, but what it lacks in warm-and-fuzziness is more than made up for in shining, world-class quality.S-Tier.
BONUS: Binaural beats for working
I like to listen to binaural beats / ambient sound while working, and this channel is my current favorite source.
Cool visuals as well.Have an awesome weekend over there.
You deserve it.
- T
P.S. In case you missed it earlier this week…
- T
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More Bangers
“What weapon will slay the dragon? Whatever weapon is in my hands.”
A few weeks ago, we started keeping an Insight Log inside The Path:
A special section where our members share short, quick-hitting insights, quotes, and ideas as they come to mind throughout the day.
It is absolutely popping off.
Here’s a peek at a few of my favorite insights from the past week:The Real Value of Small Talk
shared by Adan Maldonado
“Small talk is basically a short ritual that allows your nervous system to regulate in the presence of another human before you can begin to open up.”The Ultimate Problem-Solving Frame
shared by me
“None of this is a problem, and solutions are abundant.”
The ultimate functional-and-accurate problem-solving frame; applies to damn near everything.
Let it permeate your mind until you feel it in your energy.Simon’s Insights
shared by Simon Bitan
“What weapon will slay the dragon? Whatever weapon is in my hands.”
“A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
“Perhaps happiness is separate from wanting and not wanting.”Feeding Your Awareness
shared by Callum Suttie
“The more you feed into your awareness the less it can focus on anything; the less you feed into your awareness the sharper and more clear it becomes.”The Shrinking Brain
shared by me, via. Chris Williamson
“The human brain, after growing for millions of years, has begun shrinking over the last ten thousand years.
Such shrinkage is consistent with increased cultural innovation, which allows more people to survive even if they’re not particularly bright.
They can get away with not coming up with the best answers but simply copying what most other people are doing.” – Rob Henderson & Michael MuthukrishnaThere are many more, of course, inside The Path — these are just a few that resonated for me this past week.
I hope you enjoy, and benefit.
- T
P.S. In case you missed it…
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