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  • My fridge looks like a dairy apocalypse

    There’s a MOUNTAIN OF CHEESE currently occupying my refrigerator like some kind of cultured terrorist organisation.

    The thing about cheese is, It’s like story ideas…

    You can never have too many, and some of them get better with age. Currently, my fridge looks like a French cheese shop had a torrid affair with a Wisconsin dairy farm, and their offspring has staged a coup.

    The cycle is eternal:

    Buy Christmas cheese
    
    Eat Christmas cheese
    
    Buy more cheese because you're running low on Christmas cheese
    
    Find forgotten Christmas cheese behind newer cheese
    
    Repeat until the heat death of the universe

    It’s the circle of life, if life was made entirely of dairy products and poor impulse control.

    So while there’s still festivities about. I’m just trying my best to not get sucked into a lactose induced coma.

    But it’s going to be a day of Christmas movies, again.

    Also, tell me about your Christmas. What was good, bad and all the things in between. Did YOU have a enough cheese?

    Hit reply. Don’t be shy.

    Stephen Walker

    https://stphnwlkr.com

    P.S. Yes, I wrote this without pants while eating Brie at 3 AM.
    P.P.S. The squirrels watching through my window are judging my cheese-to-human ratio. JUDGE AWAY, RODENTS.
    P.P.P.S. If anyone needs me, I’ll be building a fortress of Gouda and regret

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • A CAFFEINATED CHRISTMAS THANK YOU FROM THE MURDER SHED

    emotionally sips coffee while organizing gratitude notes written on gas station receipts

    I’m about to get uncomfortably sincere for a minute (Which is like the second time this year), and we all know that’s not my natural state.

    This year has been wilder than that time I tried to fight a goose while hopped up on my ninth espresso. We’ve survived AI trying to steal our jobs, billionaires playing space cowboys, and whatever the hell happened on Twitter/X/Whatever-It’s-Called-This-Week.

    But you know what made it all worthwhile? You beautiful creative meat sacks showing up here, reading my unhinged rants about writing, creativity, and why pants are optional when crafting fiction.

    You’ve turned this little corner of the internet into something special, like a coffee shop run by perfectly chaotic librarians who occasionally break into interpretive dance.

    Thank you for letting me into your inbox like some kind of word-gremlin.

    Thank you for making this place feel like home, if home was run by slightly unhinged creative types who think 3 AM is a perfectly reasonable time to start writing.

    So whether you’re:

    Traveling (may your flights be smooth and your road trip snacks plentiful)

    Staying put (may your WiFi be strong and your coffee stronger)

    Celebrating (eat ALL the cheeses)

    Not celebrating (may your day be peaceful and your Netflix queue endless)

    Just existing (you’re doing great, keep breathing)

    Remember this: You matter. Your stories matter. Your art matters. Even if right now it feels like you’re just screaming into the void, know that somewhere out here, another creative like you is screaming back in solidarity.

    Stephen Walker
    https://stphnwlkr.com/

    P.S. Yes, I wrote this heartfelt message without pants. Traditions matter.
    P.P.S. The squirrels watching through my window seem touched. Or they’re plotting something. Hard to tell with squirrels.
    P.P.P.S. May your holidays be bright, your coffee be strong, and your creative spirits be unbreakable.

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    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • Santa goes John Wick before Christmas

    aggressively sips eggnog-spiked coffee from murder shed

    We’re all slowly winding down a little before eat more roast potatoes and all of the Christmas-y foods…

    I need to tell you about the greatest Christmas violence since Hans Gruber fell from Nakatomi Plaza.

    You know how sometimes you need a break from writing about murder to watch some murder instead?

    Well, let me introduce you to Violent Night, where Santa Claus goes full John Wick on some unfortunate bastards who clearly didn’t read the “naughty list” fine print.

    David Harbour (looking like me after a three-day writing binge) plays Santa, but instead of just dropping presents down chimneys, he’s dropping bodies. It’s like someone took every Christmas movie cliché and gave it a battlefield promotion.

    The premise is simple. Bad guys try to ruin Christmas. Santa says “ho-ho-holy shit” and proceeds to turn festive decorations into weapons of yuletide destruction. It’s everything I never knew I needed in a Christmas movie, and I once wrote a 3,000-word essay about why Die Hard is the greatest holiday film ever made. I’ll have to dig it up sometime.

    What makes this beautiful film work is that it’s exactly what it says on the tin. No pretence.

    No “but what does Christmas really mean?” philosophical nonsense. Just Santa going full Viking (yes, that’s actually part of the plot) on people who definitely won’t be getting presents this year. Unless you count concussions as presents.

    It’s the perfect movie to watch while taking a break from your own writing, questioning your life choices, wondering if you could fight off home invaders with Christmas decorations and drinking something festive and possibly questionable.

    The best part? It’s basically a masterclass in genre-blending storytelling. They took two completely different concepts (jolly gift-giving and brutal revenge), threw them in a blender, and somehow made it work. As a writer, that’s the kind of beautiful chaos we should all aspire to create.

    Stephen Walker

    Obviously I was going to put the trailer in here cause now you’re curious and want some of THAT festive cheer

    P.S. Yes, I watched this without pants. Santa doesn’t judge.

    P.P.S. The squirrels watching through my window seemed disturbed by my enthusiastic cheering during the hammer scene. GOOD.

    P.P.P.S. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my murder shed, writing a spec script for “Easter Bunny: Chapter 1 – The Hop of Vengeance.” probably…

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    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • Is it shallow to want to make money?

    “The greater the outward show, the greater the inner poverty.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti
    ​

    Quick note before we begin:

    ​
    This is our second last email before I take a (much needed) holiday break.

    ​
    Our final email will land sometime later this week.

    ​
    (I’m thinking of writing it during my flight to Costa Rica on Wednesday. So it will probably arrive on Thurs or Fri.)

    ​
    Today, I want to finally, definitively, answer the very silly question…

    ​
    ​“Is it shallow to want to make money?”

    ​

    …Which is usually accompanied by even sillier answers like:

    ​
    “Yes” or “no.”

    ​
    Because as usual, the correct answer is:

    ​
    “It depends.”

    ​
    ​Depth is a measure of the part of your psyche the motivation comes from.

    ​
    Is it coming from a superficial, fear-based impulse to impress others so you can feel worthy?

    ​
    To gain status? To stunt?

    ​
    To flash shiny things that hide deeper insecurities?

    ​
    If so, welcome to the kiddie pool.

    ​
    ​Splash around all you like, just don’t pretend you’re swimming in the Olympics.

    ​
    Or, maybe your motivation is coming from the very normal need to provide for yourself and your family.

    ​
    To to live well, free from survival pressure.

    ​
    To do good work in an honest way.

    ​
    Well, that’s deeper.

    ​
    Deeper still…

    ​
    ​Maybe you want to make money to fuel a greater vision:

    ​
    A creative imperative, a purpose, a project that pushes humanity forward.

    ​
    That’s even deeper.

    ​
    Of course:

    ​
    ​We all go shallow before we can go deep.

    ​
    And for many of us, the kiddie pool is where we learn how to swim.

    ​
    All good, fair play.

    ​
    The only shame is to never graduate to the deep end:

    ​
    ​To never experience how vast this ocean can be.

    ​
    Bottom line, there are levels to the game.

    ​
    And making money for the sake of making money is only level one.

    ​

    • T

    ​
    ​P.S. A huge, enormous, gigantic shout-out to everyone who joined our 2k25 clarity – strategy – execution workshop on Saturday.

    ​
    One entrepreneur’s review:

    ​

    ​

    “I can easily say today changed the entire trajectory of my year.

    ​

    Clarity and strategy is something I struggled with for years. I now feel more empowered to accomplish my goals than I ever have.
    ​

    This workshop, in one single day, has given me all the tools necessary to succeed.”

    ​

    • Ethan Simons, co-founder Bullish Events
      ​

    ​
    Another simply said:
    ​

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    ​”Toby Maguire got bit by a spider. You must have been bit by a GOAT.”

    ​

    • Nicolas Bruno, business student
      ​

    ​
    ​We did that sh*t, y’all.
    ​
    So, so good. ​
    ​

    ​Just remember…

    ​

    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​

    ​Unsubscribe | Update your profile | 5-420 Erb St. W, Suite 433, Waterloo, ON N2L6K6

  • No time for depresso, drink an espresso.

    I’m about to tell you why the current state of marketing makes me want to throw my laptop into traffic while screaming Shakespeare insults at our digital overlords.

    The last year has been about as exciting as watching paint dry in slow motion while someone explains cryptocurrency.

    Every email, every sales page, every “revolutionary” marketing approach has been as predictable as my morning coffee addiction

    (which is to say, VERY)

    Close your eyes and imagine this:

    You’re at a party. There are two people trying to tell you about their products/business/self etc.

    Person A is wearing a suit, droning on about “paradigm shifts” and “synergistic opportunities” like they’re reading from a Business Buzzword Bingo card.

    Person B is dressed like a chaos goblin, telling you wild stories about how they discovered their product formula while fighting off raccoons in their backyard at 3 AM, and somehow making it relevant to your life through a series of increasingly unhinged but entertaining metaphors.

    Who are you going to remember? Who are you going to want to hear more from?

    We’re not just competing with other marketers anymore. We’re competing with:

    TikTok dancing pandas

    Instagram reels of people falling into pools

    YouTube videos of cats knocking things off tables

    Netflix’s entire content library (Tbh I should get an achievement for completing Netflix in 2024)

    That weird thing your aunt shared on Facebook

    And we’re showing up to this entertainment Thunderdome with… bullet points and testimonials?

    (I can’t help myself with making Mad Max references cause it’s ONE of my favourite Christmas movies, okay…)

    WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BURNING ENGAGEMENT METRICS.

    I’ve spent the last year watching my inbox fill up with emails that have all the personality of a corporate tax return.

    It’s like everyone forgot that humans are basically just storytelling monkeys with credit cards and anxiety.

    You want to know what works? ADVENTURE. CHAOS. FUN.

    Example: I once wrote a sales page for a writing course that was structured like a choose-your-own-adventure book. Was it professional? Hell no. Did it convert? Like a caffeinated squirrel finding an unattended nut warehouse.

    People bought because:

    1. They were entertained
    2. They wanted to see what other crazy shit I’d come up with
    3. The actual product was good (important detail)
    4. They felt like they were part of something more interesting than another “7-step system to success”

    Here’s another little nugget of truth: Your audience doesn’t wake up in the morning thinking, “Gosh, I hope someone tries to sell me something today in the most boring way possible!”

    They want:

    Stories that make them forget they’re being sold to

    Characters they can relate to (even if that character is your caffeinated, pantsless marketing persona)

    Adventures they can be part of

    Entertainment that doesn’t make them feel like they’re reading a terms of service agreement

    So here’s my challenge to you as we sneak into 2025.

    Stop being boring. Stop writing like you’re trying to impress your high school English teacher. Start writing like you’re telling stories at a bar after your third Espresso Martini (or whatever your beverage of choice is)

    The little known secret that everyone forgets is…

    People will buy from you not just because they need your stuff, but because they want to be part of your story.

    They want to be part of something fun, something different, something that makes them feel alive in all of this digital world of “limited-time offers” and “exclusive bonuses.”

    Stephen Walker

    AND OFC I AM DEFINITELY NOT DRINKING AN ESPRESSO MARTINI IN THIS PICTURE YOU’RE NOT GONNA CLICK ON

    P.S. Yes, I wrote this entire manifesto without pants. It’s part of my brand now.

    P.P.S. The squirrels watching through my window are taking notes. They’re clearly planning something.

    P.P.P.S. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my murder shed, writing sales pages that make people question their reality while being entertained enough to actually read them.

    Remember: Life’s too short for boring marketing. Make it weird. Make it fun. Make it memorable. And for the love of all things caffeinated, make it something that doesn’t make people want to gouge their eyes out with a rusty spoon.

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • My brain is currently a janky windows 95 computer

    So today I woke up and my skull-computer is throwing up the blue screen of death.

    Not because there are actual worms up there (probably), but because gestures at everything THIS and points at calendar THAT have turned my neural networks into a malfunctioning carousel operated by God knows what.

    I completely whiffed on the gift guide this year and by the time my brain cells held their emergency meeting, it was too late. “Hey, let’s do a gift guide!” screamed one neuron. “Sir, it’s December 22nd,” replied another, more responsible neuron, before being thrown out the window.

    So I got 2 secret Santa thingies and well, hopefully people don’t end up crying.

    My brain has gone full goldfish. It’s floating in its glass… its glass… its spherical fish apartment… its goldfish palantir… FISHBOWL.

    (It took me longer to remember that word than it takes to brew coffee, and that’s saying something which is weird cause I’m usually pretty good with this whole words thing)

    I feel like I’m iving in the eternal now because looking backward is like stepping on scripted word-y landmines, and looking forward feels like volunteering for a black hole vacation, which tbh. Sounds pretty cool.

    But it’s fine! Everything’s fine! My brain is totally not a dumpster fire!

    The end of 2024 is near and well it’s been wild. So I’m going to ease into the new year with some more books I’ve treated myself to.

    So if you fancy the equivalent of Deadpool + Vampires you need to check this out…

    I’m a few chapters in and it’s entertaining as all heck.

    Stephen Walker

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • Stop hiding behind your words

    Look, I get it. You’re a writer. Your natural habitat is behind a keyboard, preferably in a dark room, possibly pantsless (or is that just me?)

    The thought of showing your face or gasp SPEAKING makes you want to crawl into your murder shed and never come out.

    BUT HERE’S THE THING.

    I know you’re not here just for the words. You’re buying into what is considered my own little circus, where I make the rules.

    You want the full disaster experience. You want to see the crazy behind the prose, hear the unhinged voice behind the vocabulary.

    Another way to think of this is like this…

    I’m not building just a readership, I’m cultivating a cult (the legal, non-poisoned-Kool-Aid kind) And cults need more than just sacred walls of text.

    They need a presence, a voice, a face of their perpetually exhausted leader.

    So my mission for 2025 be this;

    Write my face off (obviously)

    Show the suck (photos/screenshots)

    Record my high on caffeine rants (audio/video)

    And house it where it’s easily accessible. (A commune of sorts)

    I know when people connect with my flavour of madness. They won’t just be buying my books/stories/products they’ll be investing in my entire apocalyptic aesthetic.

    Stephen Walker

    https://stphnwlkr.com

    P.S. Yes, I recorded this email’s audio version without pants but it was a bit shitty cause I was out in the wind.

    P.P.S. The squirrels filming my content look concerned. GOOD.

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • There always need to be a reason

    And that reason is I accidentally pressed send on my previous email that went out just before midnight last night, when I should’ve woken up early, edited it and make it not so long…

    So you get 2 emails from me today, as a treat.

    Think of that as an early Christmas present…

    The other reason is to keep people guessing what’s coming next.

    I usually like to make things vague-ish and entertaining and then send your eyeballs elsewhere to check things out.

    If you can create intrigue and curiosity with whatever it is you’re doing. There will be fans that will follow along for the ride.

    After all, we’re all voyeurs.

    You definitely don’t want to click on this link and watch this video, cause it can be used for good, evil or fun and profits.

    Stephen Walker

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • How I learned to stop bullshitting and embraced the chaos

    Here’s how I cut through the noise without becoming another crypto-bro.

    A follow up to yesterdays email and why this can be VERY good for you…

    1. KILL THE CORPORATE VOICE

    Stop sounding like a LinkedIn algorithm had a baby with a customer service manual

    Write like a human who gives a shit

    Here’s an example: Not “We’re excited to announce our new product launch!” but “HOLY SHIT Y’ALL, WE MADE A THING AND IT ACTUALLY WORKS”

    1. DOCUMENT, DON’T MANUFACTURE (A Gay Vee-ism or whatever)

    Show the stained, exhausted, error-message of your reality

    Share your failures (people love a good dumpster fire)

    Behind-the-scenes content that isn’t staged like one of those god awful British reality TV shit shows…

    1. THE TRANSPARENCY HACK

    When something goes wrong, own it faster than your ginger cat knocking over your favourite water glass

    Share real numbers/results (even the ugly ones)

    Let people see the humans behind the brand (messy hair and all)

    1. ENGAGEMENT THAT DOESN’T MAKE PEOPLE VOMIT

    Drop the “comment below!” garbage

    Actually talk to people like they’re not NPCs in your newly polished marketing vidya game.

    Share other people’s content without expecting something in return (revolutionary, I know eh?)

    1. THE CONTENT TRUTH BOMB

    Stop chasing trends like a desperate teenager

    Create stuff that actually helps your audience

    If it feels fake while you’re making it, it IS fake…

    REAL EXAMPLE:

    Instead of: “Our revolutionary productivity app helps optimise your workflow!”

    Try: “We built this because we kept forgetting important shit and nearly lost our minds. Here’s how it saved our collective asses…”

    Building trust is like making sourdough starter kit. Tt takes time, it sometimes smells weird, but the end result is worth it.

    And the thing is, It’s so rare these days, but you’ll probably go viral just for not being full of shit.

    Stephen Walker

    https://stphnwlkr.com

    ++

    If you made it this far here’s a little bonus if you wanna check out companies who have kicked social media’s ass:

    BRANDS THAT ACTUALLY GET IT – MASTERCLASS IN NOT SUCKING AT SOCIAL MEDIA

    WENDY’S

    Turned savage Twitter replies into an art form

    Actually funny without trying too hard

    Called out McDonald’s for frozen beef with zero chill: “What do you call a frozen beef patty that’s sad? A Big Mac.”

    PATAGONIA

    Literally tells people “Don’t Buy This Jacket”

    Shows the ugly bullshit about supply chains

    Would rather lose money than bullshit about climate change

    Their Black Friday ad once said “Don’t buy what you don’t need”

    DARN TOUGH SOCKS

    Brutally honest guarantee: “If you can wear these out, we’ll replace them free”

    Shows their Vermont factory workers instead of models

    Actually responds to complaints with solutions, not corporate speak

    BURGER KING

    That time they admitted their food looked artificial in ads and showed the real deal

    “We removed artificial preservatives and it made our food look like shit. That’s the beauty of real food.”

    DUOLINGO

    Their TikTok is unhinged in the best way

    Turned their mascot into a psychotic green owl who threatens people to learn languages

    Embraces the memes about their aggressive notifications

    SKATEBOARD COMPANY POWELL PERALTA

    Shows failed tricks alongside successes

    Raw footage of product testing/breaking

    Zero attempt to look “professional”

    THE COMMON THREAD:

    They’re comfortable being uncomfortable

    They admit mistakes faster than a kid with chocolate on their face

    They pick fights (with purpose)

    They break “professional” marketing rules

    They let their weird flag fly

    WHY IT WORKS:

    People are sick of polish

    Gen Z can smell BS from 12 miles away

    Authenticity is now a survival trait

    The internet rewards chaos (controlled chaos, but still chaos)

    THE ANTI-LESSON:

    Don’t try to copy these brands. That’s like wearing someone else’s skin. Creepy and ineffective. Instead, find your own authentic voice.

    The goal isn’t to be edgy. The goal is to be real. Sometimes real is edgy. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s admitting you have no fucking clue what you’re doing but you’re trying anyway.

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • 5 Ways To Guarantee Goal Achievement

    “Action without planning is the cause of every failure.” – Peter Drucker
    ​

    As the deadline approaches to register for Saturday’s workshop…

    ​
    ​2k25: Clarity – Strategy – Execution

    ​
    …I want to offer you a powerful question to ask yourself over the holidays.

    ​
    It’s very simple:

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    ​How could you guarantee you achieve every goal you set for 2025?

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    I know it’s a tough question, but it’s a potent one.

    ​
    So let’s explore it…

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    ​1. You’re know exactly what you’re trying to achieve.

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    Every goal is specific, measurable, and broken down into achievable targets.

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    Just point, aim, and fire.

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    Perfect clarity.

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    ​2. You know exactly what to do and when to do it.

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    Every target is broken down into clear action steps, and every action step is scheduled.
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    No confusion, no guesswork.

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    All you need to do now is execute.

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    1. You have reliable systems that make execution smooth and automatic.

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    Your daily workflow has been streamlined so that your tasks feel frictionless.

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    Instead of grinding, you sink into a smooth rhythm of deep, productive work:

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    Getting far more done in every block of time you spend.

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    ​4. You have an experienced coach optimizing your strategy, and a team holding you accountable.

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    Spotting your blindspots.

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    Making critical adjustments.

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    Breaking through sticking points.
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    Helping you course-correct.

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    And, making absolutely sure that…

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    ​5. You execute the plan.

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    And you don’t stop executing until you hit your target.

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    Does this guarantee you’ll achieve every goal you set for 2025?

    ​
    Of course not.

    ​
    Guarantees of success don’t exist.

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    ​But we just got you as close as it gets.

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    And, for my money…

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    …If you hit all five points above, it will be hard not to succeed.

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    So that’s exactly what we’re doing on our workshop, this Saturday:
    ​
    Combining perfect clarity with detailed strategy and systematic execution…
    ​
    …While coaching, supporting, and holding you accountable every step of the way…
    ​
    …Until you’re locked in, riding a wave of momentum that carries you into the greatest year of your life.

    ​
    ​Here’s where you can join us.

    ​

    • T

    ​
    P.S. Two quick reminders:

    ​
    ​1. Recordings will be available if you can’t attend live.

    ​

    It’s easy to follow along on your own schedule, and I’ll be there to answer your questions in our coaching group.

    ​
    ​2. Registration closes at midnight this Friday…

    ​

    …And the workshop goes live Saturday morning at 9 am EST.

    ​
    So if you want in, move quick.

    ​
    ​Here’s the link one more time.
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​

    ​Unsubscribe | Update your profile | 5-420 Erb St. W, Suite 433, Waterloo, ON N2L6K6

  • Ryan Gosling F’d Up 2025

    “If the truth hurts, pain is our ally.”
    ​

    Quick item of business before we jump in:

    ​

    Tomorrow at midnight, registration for our final workshop of the year…

    ​
    ​2k25: Clarity – Strategy – Execution

    ​
    …Will close, and preparation for Saturday’s war room will begin.

    ​
    So if you want in, now’s the time.

    ​
    ​Second item of business…

    ​
    Does this sound familiar to you?
    ​

    ​
    Thought so 🙂

    ​
    Don’t be shy, we’ve all done it.

    ​
    The difference between us and RG is, now we know the truth:

    ​
    ​Every year we stand still, moving forward gets harder.

    ​
    Not only because the world is changing rapidly:

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    Competition is fiercer, the bar for success is higher, the bots are taking over, etc…

    ​
    But because every year we don’t make tangible progress toward our vision, we lose faith that we ever will.

    ​
    ​That’s the knife twist in the gut nobody talks about.

    ​
    Every time we:
    ​

    Set a goal
    Make a plan to achieve it
    Psych ourselves into thinking we're really, actually, honestly going to do it this time
    Only to sink back into old habits and fail to execute our plan

    ​
    …Our confidence shrinks, and we lose trust in ourselves.

    ​
    Because trust isn’t earned with thoughts and words.

    ​
    It’s earned with actions and behaviours.

    ​
    ​And every time we fail to take action, we begin to see ourselves as someone who fails to take action.

    ​
    Which means — you guessed it:

    ​
    ​We’re even less likely to take action next time.

    ​
    I know that’s a painful truth, but if the truth hurts, pain is our ally.

    ​
    ​And the truth is, the urgency is real.

    ​

    Whether our boy Gosling feels it or not.

    ​
    (I guess once you’ve married Eva Mendes there’s not much else to achieve…)

    ​
    Anyway, that’s my speech.

    ​
    If you’re ready to make real moves in 2025:

    ​
    ​Come join us in the 2k25 war room, and let’s make it happen.

    ​

    • T

    ​
    ​P.S. The sunny side of today’s lesson:

    ​
    ​Self-belief is a trainable muscle.

    ​
    Yes, it grows weaker every time you hesitate, procrastinate, and fail to execute.

    ​
    But it also grows stronger every time you follow through.
    ​
    So if you’re joining the 2k25 workshop (or watching the recordings on your own time), know this:

    ​
    Whatever your goal, whatever your strategy, whatever your plan of execution…

    ​
    We’re going to hold you to it.

    ​
    ​Here’s the link one more time.
    ​​
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​

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  • The truth is dead

    We need to talk about why telling the truth is about as effective as using a pool noodle to fight off brown bear on cocaine…

    spoiler alert: you’re gonna get your face eaten

    So for decades, honest business folks thought they could just wave their truth-flag around like some magical victory pennant.

    “Look at our superior widget! It’s actually superior! We promise!” Meanwhile, the snake-oil salesmen were out there doing jazz hands and promising their inferior crap would cure cancer, solve world hunger, and make your genitals sparkle in the moonlight.

    (I still don’t have sparkle-y genitals and I’m MAD!)

    Guess who won that fight?

    (Hint: Not the truth-tellers)

    So what happened? The honest folks got desperate.

    They watched their kids’ college funds circle the drain while Lying Larry’s Discount Emporium made bank selling repackaged garbage.

    And they thought: “Hell, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.”

    That’s how we ended up in this dumpster fire of modern advertising, where everything is MARKED UP 300% SO WE CAN MARK IT DOWN 50% AND CALL IT A DEAL OF THE CENTURY, FOLKS!

    But here’s the plot twist…

    The truth wasn’t the problem. The delivery system was.

    It’s like serving a gourmet meal on a garbage can lid. The food might be Michelin-star quality, but nobody’s gonna want to eat it.

    The real art? Making people REALISE the truth. That takes more finesse than just projectile vomiting facts at people’s faces.

    You NEED strategy, skill, and probably a smoke bomb or two (metaphorically speaking, put down that smoke bomb, Kevin)

    Here’s your takeaway, because I know you’re all skimming this anyway:

    Truth without persuasion is like a bird without wings.

    Technically still a bird, but it ain’t gonna fly.

    Want to win? Learn to package truth in a way that makes people’s brains light up like a pinball machine.

    That’s not manipulation. That’s communication that actually works.

    Because in the end, honest persuasion isn’t just the right way, it’s the only way that’s going to survive in a world where people are getting harder to fool by the second.

    You have to tell the truth, but for fuck’s sake, make it interesting.

    Stephen Walker

    And for a buck fifty two, you can get your hands on what I consider one of the most influential guides on this out there…

    P.S. Kevin is one of the squirrels still sneaking about…

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • The most dangerous game known to man

    “Beware the old soldier. He’s old for a reason.” – Taylor Sheridan, Lioness
    ​

    I just finished watching Lioness…

    ​
    A (banger) show about a small CIA special forces unit that hunts down and takes out the world’s worst people.

    ​
    They’re playing the highest-stakes game known to man:

    ​
    A game so risky, so dangerous, and so brutally violent that captain (Zoe Saldana) said to her team:

    ​
    ​”If you want a challenge, go fight in the UFC.”

    ​
    In other words, referees will not save you out here.

    ​
    You accomplish the mission — no matter how challenging it is — or you die.

    ​
    Now, imagine you’re in charge of designing a mission strategy for the Lioness team.

    ​
    ​Imagine the level of detail you’d need to consider:

    ​
    Not only setting your target…

    ​
    …But knowing your target’s target:

    ​
    Knowing every step he will take before he takes it, so you always stay two steps ahead.

    ​
    Your back-up plans would need back-up plans.

    ​
    Every potential problem solved in advance.

    ​
    Every roadblock removed before you move forward.

    ​
    Every phase of your plan broken down into clear, precise steps.

    ​
    Every step executed perfectly.

    ​
    Because if you find yourself a step out of place…

    ​
    You and your team die.

    ​
    ​Positive thoughts and pretty self-talk ‘aint gonna save you out there.

    ​
    What will save you?

    ​
    Clear targets, bulletproof strategy, and sharp, systematic execution.

    ​
    That’s how high-stakes missions are accomplished, and it’s the only way they’re accomplished…

    ​
    Whether you’re running a special forces unit.

    ​
    Launching rockets into space.

    ​
    Building a business.

    ​
    Or, creating your life.

    ​
    That’s right, your life:

    ​

    The highest-stakes game there is.

    ​
    ​And almost everyone plays it with lazy goals, vague strategy, and sloppy execution.

    ​
    Is it any wonder most people keep falling short?

    ​
    Keep feeling their lives slip by with no tangible accomplishment to show for it?

    ​
    Keep shrinking to fit the box society pushed them into, never taking creative control over their own lives?

    ​
    That’s why I’m taking this workshop so seriously…

    ​
    ​2k25: Clarity – Strategy – Execution

    ​
    …And putting so much time into making sure it’s the single most powerful day of the year:

    ​
    The day we lay the foundation for the most transformative year of your life in 2025.

    ​
    Registration closes on Friday.

    ​
    And the work begins on Saturday.

    ​
    ​Come join us.

    ​

    • T

    ​
    P.S. Two reminders:

    ​
    ​1. Recordings will be available if you can’t attend live.

    ​
    It’s easy to follow along on your own schedule, and I’ll be there to answer your questions in our coaching group.

    ​
    And, just in case you missed the note above:

    ​
    ​2. Registration closes at midnight on Friday…

    ​

    …And the workshop goes live Saturday morning at 9 am EST.

    ​
    ​So if you want in, move quick.
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​

    ​Unsubscribe | Update your profile | 5-420 Erb St. W, Suite 433, Waterloo, ON N2L6K6

  • How To Set Goals You’ll Actually Achieve

    “Hope is not a strategy.” – James Cameron
    ​

    Want a quick masterclass in setting goals you’ll actually achieve?

    ​

    It’ll only take a few minutes, but I need you to follow closely.

    ​
    Real goal achievement ain’t about hoping really hard, it’s about combining a bulletproof strategy with sharp execution.

    ​
    It’s about the details almost nobody pays attention to…

    ​
    So, pay close attention.

    ​
    Fade in…

    ​

    Two young entrepreneurs are setting goals for 2025.

    ​
    Both live in the war-torn land known as the startup phase, which means they’re not just fighting for success.

    ​
    They’re fighting for survival.

    ​
    ​Entrepreneur #1 sits down with a pen and paper.

    ​

    At the top of the page, he writes:

    ​
    My business will generate six figures in 2025.

    ​
    He closes his eyes. Crinkles his brow. Marshals his powers of manifestation. And sends his wish into the sky.

    ​
    Then, he gets to work.

    ​
    ​Entrepreneur #2 also sits down with a pen and paper.

    ​
    At the top of the page, he writes:

    ​
    My business will generate $100,000 in 2025, selling a $500 product using paid ads.

    ​
    Next, he does some calculations.

    ​
    ​(don’t lose track now, this next part is critical…)

    ​
    $100,000 / $500 per sale = 200 sales

    ​
    (ie. he needs to make 200 sales to make $100,000)

    ​
    He converts about 2% of his leads into customers, so:

    ​
    200 / 0.02 = 10,000 leads

    ​
    (ie. he needs to generate 10,000 leads to make $100,000)

    ​
    And, since leads cost about $3 each when he runs paid ads…

    ​
    $3 x 10,000 = $30,000

    ​
    (ie. he needs to spend $30,000 on ads to make $100,000)

    ​
    I hope you caught that:

    ​
    ​Our boy’s got a profitable business.

    ​
    About $70,000 a year in profit, before overhead.

    ​
    (which, in an online business like his, is minimal)

    ​
    There’s still more work to do, of course — like:
    ​

    Listing all of his major tasks with clear timelines and action steps.
    Scheduling those tasks in his calendar so he always knows exactly what to do, and when.
    Optimizing his daily and weekly schedule to guarantee consistent progress on his key tasks.
    Identifying potential problems, threats, and roadblocks... And, solving them in advance so that nothing stops his progress.

    ​
    But our boy ‘aint playing side hustle:

    ​
    He’s running a real business with real stakes, and real skin in the game.

    ​
    So he doesn’t stop until the job is done.

    ​
    ​By the end of his strategy session, he:

    ​

    Knows his business will be profitable
    Knows exactly what he needs to do, and when he's going to do it
    Knows what could go wrong, and how to solve it if it does

    ​
    No guesswork. No confusion. No stone unturned.

    ​
    All he needs to do now is execute.
    ​
    So:

    ​
    ​Which entrepreneur would you bet on?

    ​
    The one who throws darts blindfolded and hopes they hit the target?

    ​
    Or the one looking down the scope, target locked, finger on the trigger, ready to fire.

    ​
    Now, ask yourself:

    ​
    ​Which one are you?

    ​
    If you aren’t achieving the goals you set for yourself, it’s not a lack of desire.

    ​
    It’s usually not even a lack of discipline.

    ​
    In almost all cases…

    ​
    ​It’s a lack of strategy.

    ​
    And we’re fixing that, once and for all, this weekend.

    ​
    Here’s the plan:

    ​
    This Saturday, we’re holding a one-day workshop called:

    ​
    ​2k25: Clarity – Strategy – Execution​

    ​
    Where we will craft a vivid, detailed vision for 2025.

    ​
    Break it down into a precise, step-by-step strategy.

    ​
    Install powerful systems that make executing your strategy smooth and efficient.

    ​
    And coach, guide, support, and keep you accountable throughout the entire month of January…

    ​
    …Until you’re fully locked in, riding a wave momentum that carries you into the best year of your life.

    ​
    Make no mistake:

    ​
    ​This is the most important workday of 2024.

    ​
    The day we lay the foundation for the most explosive, transformative year of your life in 2025.

    ​
    I hope you’ll be joining us.

    ​

    • T

    ​
    P.S. Two quick notes:

    ​
    ​1. Recordings will be available if you can’t attend live.

    ​

    It’s easy to follow along on your own schedule, and I’ll be there to answer your questions in our coaching group.

    ​
    ​2. Registration closes at midnight this Friday…

    ​

    …And the workshop goes live Saturday morning at 9 am EST.
    So if you want in, move quick.

    ​
    ​Here’s the link one more time.
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​

    ​Unsubscribe | Update your profile | 5-420 Erb St. W, Suite 433, Waterloo, ON N2L6K6

  • 2024 but in books

    I do this once a year and they’re in no particular order but I’m a firm believer in re-reading great work.

    From non-fiction to fiction there might be something in here that’ll tickle your brain soup.

    Let’s go…

    PSA by Rob Ulitski
    (A short story with a pretty cool style and the layout of it is interesting too. It’s a short story and free. Give it a read. I enjoyed it a lot.)

    ZombieCop by Ben Settle
    (Fellow copywriter and all around grinch, my boy Ben writes a lot of weird and wonderful shit. Plus he’s one of my favourite marketers and copywriters)

    Zen in the art of writing by Ray Bradbury
    (Essays about the craft of writing and how Ray became as prolific as he did. Up there with Asimov as one of my inspirations in the sci-fi realm)

    The Boron Letters by Gary C. Halbert
    (If it wasn’t for Gary, a lot of writers turned copywriters wouldn’t be able to craft ideas, offers and sentences to the extent we did. I re-read this at least two times a year)

    Me talk pretty one day by David Sedaris
    (I can’t say much about David cause I don’t wanna spoil it but he humour infused essays are just great. The way he tells a story just sucks you in)

    Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
    (Most people know Chuck for Fight Club, which is a great book and film, however he writes some twisted shit. I challenged you to sit through GUTS and if you come back and unsubscribe and block me, that’s totally cool too.)

    The Acid House by Irvine Welsh
    (Anyone who has seen Trainspotting (1993) knows that Irvine Welsh is an absolute insane genius but what people don’t know is that in The Acid House, his short stories hit ten times as hard. I also learnt a lot about how to write dialogue and incorporating local language / slang to write more express sentences)

    Storm for the living and the dead by Charles Bukowski
    (It’s not secret that I love poetry. From stealing my first Bukowski book from my uncle at the age of 13. I’ve read his work ever since. The low brow look at the world and how everything is intertwined is what makes his work so impactful. Not for the feint of heart but great nontheless)

    Make ’em laugh & take their money by Dan S. Kennedy
    (Dan is a legend in the direct response world and is as old school as it gets. This will make your writing a lot more entertaining.)

    Scrappy little nobody by Anna Kendrick
    (Just a little insight into the life of Anna, she’s an amazing actress and her humour in Hollywood goes unmatched. She shows that being a celeb wasn’t always glitz and glam, especially in her super early years.)

    Sex, Drugs & Cocoa puffs by Chuck Klosterman
    (I’m annoyed that I didn’t use that title for a book or a story although I’ll give it to Chuck. His low culture manifesto is top tier and funny)

    The Pulp Jungle by Frank Gruber
    (One of my inspirations to write the way I do. Going back to the dime novel era. Where every word pays rent and the rent is due tomorrow. You had to have written well, or you’d starve. The depression era of writers were cerebral and methodical in their output cause if they didn’t perform, they’d get replaced.)

    Ca$vertising by Drew Eric Whitman
    (If I woke up tomorrow and lost my memory. This would be the first book I’d hope to stumble on. This taught me more about humans and persuasive writing than anything. Ain’t no guru this far ahead of the game.)

    This isn’t your typical “best books of 2024” list.

    And there’s no particular reading order or anything.

    It’s what I’d deem a masterclass in writing that spans from Ray Bradbury’s zen-like wisdom to Chuck Palahniuk’s stomach-turning brilliance (seriously, don’t read GUTS before eating).

    From direct response legends like Gary Halbert and Drew Eric Whitman teaching you how to sell ice to penguins, to Irvine Welsh and Bukowski showing you how to punch readers in the gut with raw authenticity, this collection is basically a war chest for anyone serious about putting words on paper that actually mean something.

    And if you’re wondering why this list jumps from Hollywood memoirs to marketing manifestos to horror fiction well, that’s exactly how your writer’s brain should work. Absorbing everything, questioning everything, and turning it all into your own beautiful concoction of chaos.

    Stephen Walker

    P.S. Yes, I read all these without pants. It’s called method reading, look it up.
    P.P.S. If anyone asks why your writing suddenly got weird after reading these, blame me. I accept full responsibility and you better send them here so I can infect their minds with similar chaos. I’m recruiting people for 2025…
    P.P.P.S. Seriously though, Don’t watch Chuck read GUTS right before dinner. You’ve been warned.

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • A dead-eyed vinyl nightmare

    So today in the endless parade of what-the-fuckery that is our modern hellscape…

    Funko. Yes, those merchants of dead-eyed vinyl nightmares decided to go full HAM on itch.io because their broken-ass AI copyright system can’t tell its digital ass from its algorithmic elbow.

    I’m not anti-ai in a lot of respects. They’re great tools for research amplification and idea generation, however in a lot of the cases…

    It’s like giving a toddler a hammer and expecting them to perform brain surgery.

    Sure, the toddler might hit something, but that something isn’t gonna be what you want, and somebody’s definitely gonna end up crying or dying. (Probably both)

    These corps keep implementing these systems like they’re some magical fix-all solution, like throwing AI at a problem is gonna make it better, when in reality it’s like trying to fix a leaky pipe with bubble gum and thoughts and prayers.

    (Pssst. Thoughts and prayers absolutely do not work btw)

    And who gets caught in the crossfire?

    The indie devs. The little guys. The actual humans making actual things with their actual meat-hands and meat-brains.

    You want to know what AI is really doing? It’s not “getting smarter.” It’s getting better at being confidently wrong while wearing a tie.

    It’s like that one guy at every party who won’t shut up about cryptocurrency and keeps trying to sell you on his NFT collection of procedurally generated squirrels wearing monocles, and honestly I may even be partial to it cause, well… You’ve read my most recent emails.

    Anywho…

    “But Stephen,” you say, “AI is the future! It’s learning! It’s evolving!”

    Yeah, so did velociraptors in Jurassic Park, and we all know how that turned out.

    (Spoiler alert: Badly. For everyone. Especially the guy on the toilet.)

    The cold hard and hilariously championed AI-Bro truth is: These systems aren’t protecting art or artists. They’re protecting corporate interests with all the precision of a drunk rhinoceros in a china shop. And every time one of these companies implements some half-baked AI solution, it’s like watching someone try to perform surgery with a chainsaw. (Imagine giving a toddler a chainsaw in this situation lol)

    Sure, you’ll remove something, but probably not the thing you were aiming for.

    So if I’ve got any indie devs reading this and to all the indie devs caught in this garbage fire…

    I see you. We see you. And to Funko and every other company thinking about letting AI be their bouncer or menace to others.

    Maybe try using actual humans with actual understanding of actual creative work instead of the digital equivalent of a bloodhound that can’t tell the difference between a legitimate game and a picture of a ham sandwich.

    Robots aren’t coming for our jobs. They’re coming for our sanity and we all know it’s a pattern of automated fuckery.

    [As always, this is Stephen, your friendly neighbourhood doom-prophet at stphnwlkr.com, reminding you that the future is now, and it’s wearing a dunce cap.]

    Stephen Walker

    I know you totally want to follow the rabbit hole of drama cause I mean you’re here and you’re like me and I’m like you so check it out.

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • Grab a tissue. Or a bourbon. Or both.

    I’m about to get uncommonly sincere for a minute, so brace yourselves.

    Maybe grab a tissue. Or a bourbon. Or both. No judgment here.

    So there I was, having my usual 3 AM existential crisis about deadlines and word counts, when something weird happened.

    No, I didn’t get visited by three ghosts. That’s a different story, and frankly, those ghosts still owe me money for writing consultation.

    I started thinking about George Bailey (you know, from “It’s a Wonderful Life” yes, I watch old movies, fight me), and how that poor bastard had to literally almost die to realise he wasn’t actually a failure.

    And it hit me harder than that time I tried to caffeinate my caffeine.

    We’re all so busy building our little writing empires, cranking out words like we’re being chased by zombified literary agents, that sometimes we forget about the actual humans who put up with our weird-ass creative processes and our own wild personality.

    You know who I mean…

    The partner who brings you coffee while you’re mid-chapter-crisis

    The friend who still invites you places even though you’re “almost done with this draft” (narrator: they were not almost done)

    The family who pretends to understand why you need to talk about your fictional characters like they’re real people

    The dog who sits at your feet while you rant about plot holes

    The cat who only walks across your keyboard MOST of the time instead of ALL the time

    The thing is, your words matter. Your stories matter. But so do the people who make it possible for you to tell them.

    So as we wrap up this dumpster fire of a year (2024, you’ve been weird, man), maybe take a minute. Look around. Thank the people who deal with your creative chaos. Hug them if they’re huggers. Send them a weird gif if they’re not.

    Because while we’re all out here trying to create worlds and birth stories and fight the good fight against what ever big tech will throw at us in 2025, these people are creating something too…

    A space where we can be our strange, creative, possibly unhinged selves.

    And that’s worth more than any wordcount.

    Don’t worry. I’m not going soft on you. Tomorrow I’ll be back to my regular programming of caffeine-fuelled rants about proper semicolon usage and why squirrels are probably government spies. But for tonight, maybe just… appreciate your people.

    And if you’re feeling lonely in your creative cave, remember. You’ve got me and this whole community of equally weird word-nerds right here.

    We might be disaster-pandas, but we’re YOUR disaster-pandas.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ve got something in my eye. Probably coffee grounds. Definitely not tears.

    And again. I really do appreciate you for sticking around and reading these emails. I’m glad you find them interesting, entertaining and educational. I’ll be back to the regular scheduled anarchy soon…

    Stephen Walker

    It’s a wonderful life – which I’ve probably watched every Christmas for the last 25+ years

    P.S. Yes, I wrote this without pants, but I did put on a festive hat. Growth eh?

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • The Most Productive Day Of The Year

    “The universe needs to know what you want before it can give it to you.”
    ​

    So, it looks like we’re a go 🙂

    ​
    Yesterday’s email about our upcoming workshop…

    ​
    ​”The Most Productive Day Of The Year”

    ​
    …Generated a ton of interest, and rightfully so — but we’ll talk about that in a moment.

    ​
    First, I want to talk about this:

    ​
    A few hours after I sent that email, 8-figure entrepreneur and OG Path member Mason Vranes sent me this text:

    “I think this is a dope idea.
    ​
    I see a ton of posts from people saying this is their year to ‘lock-in’ and make it big.
    ​
    Then around June/July, they say they haven’t progressed at all and only have a few months left to lock in.
    ​
    Endless cycle of posts like that.
    ​
    Basically you’re making 2025 the year they actually break through.”

    “Endless cycle” is right:

    ​
    Motivation spikes around the new year, and we charge out of the gate ready for war.

    ​
    Then it wears off, because motivation is a set of chemicals, not a set of character traits.

    ​

    And when motivation recedes, and our (lack of) strategy begins to fall apart…

    ​
    …We feel ourselves slowly sinking back into the rut of our old habits, as yet another year fades into the past….

    ​
    …While our confidence — our trust in ourselves to do what we said we were going to do — fades with it…

    ​
    …And that familiar nagging feeling takes root in the pit of our stomach, because deep down, we know:

    ​
    Every time we let ourselves down, and let another opportunity die in our hands…

    ​
    …We groove the pattern even deeper.
    ​
    So the next time we feel that spark of motivation, it will be accompanied by an even darker cloud of doubt…

    ​
    …And even slimmer odds that we’ll finally — finally — be able to turn our vision into a reality.

    ​
    Whew.

    ​
    ​That hurts.

    ​
    I know I’m twisting the knife here, but pain is fuel, and fuel is what we’re looking for.

    ​
    What we’re also looking for:

    ​
    ​Clear, precise, detailed, intelligent, all-the-way-thought-through Strategy:
    ​
    ​Strategy that transforms our motivation into dynamic, targeted action — and action that transforms our vision into a reality, once and for all.

    ​
    So that’s what we’re doing in our workshop next week.

    ​
    Here’s the plan:

    ​
    Registration will open on Tuesday, Dec 17 and run until midnight on Friday, Dec 20.

    ​
    ​The workshop will be held live, Saturday, Dec 21, from 9 am EST until around 5 pm EST.

    ​
    The recordings will also be made available for anyone who can’t attend live, so all you’ll need to do is sit down one day during the holidays and follow along.

    ​
    Plus:

    ​
    ​I’m going to open up a private coaching group for the month of January (at no extra cost)…

    ​
    …Where I will be available for open Q & A, accountability, and additional live calls to help keep you on track.

    ​
    Our goal:

    ​
    To guide you through the all-important first month of 2025, until your habits are locked in, your strategy is running smoothly, and momentum has taken over.

    ​
    Because — and let me make this clear:

    ​
    ​This is your year.

    ​
    This is the year you finally break through, and finally — finally — bring your vision to life.

    ​
    You do your part, and I will damn sure do mine.

    ​
    So rest up, have an amazing weekend, and get ready.

    ​
    2025 starts next week.

    ​

    • T

    ​
    P.S. Remember…
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​

    ​Unsubscribe | Update your profile | 5-420 Erb St. W, Suite 433, Waterloo, ON N2L6K6

  • THAT ONE TIME I FOUGHT SANTA IN A MCDONALD’S PARKING LOT

    I need to tell you about the time I got into a fistfight with Santa Claus.

    Yes, THE Santa Claus. No, I wasn’t high on mushrooms. This actually happened. (wink)

    So there I am, 3 AM, typing away in my murder shed like any normal person would be, when this red-suited jackass literally slides down my non-existent chimney (I HAVE CENTRAL HEATING, YOU PRESUMPTUOUS PRICK) and has the absolute AUDACITY to tell me I need to “slow down and embrace the holiday spirit.”

    “Stephen,” he says, all jolly and shit, “you’re working too hard. Take a break. Watch some Hallmark movies.”

    I look up from my seventh cup of coffee and fourth deadline of the day. “Listen here, you seasonal home invader, these words aren’t going to write themselves.”

    “But it’s Christmas!” His elves chime in from somewhere behind him. (Side note: elves are assholes.)

    “Christmas doesn’t pay the mortgage, you toy-making terrorists!”

    That’s when Santa made his fatal mistake. He tried to unplug my laptop.

    Next thing I know, we’re throwing down in the Mcdonald’s parking lot at 3:45 AM. A crowd of insomniacs and third-shift workers gathered around us, placing bets.

    “Ho ho h- OOF!” Santa wheezes as I connect with his jolly belly.

    “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND,” I yell, ducking a surprisingly quick right hook. “THE INTERNET NEEDS MY UNHINGED RANTS ABOUT PROPER COMMA USAGE!”

    “But the magic of Christ- JESUS, THAT’S MY SPLEEN!”

    “THE ONLY MAGIC I BELIEVE IN IS CAFFEINE AND CONSISTENCY!”

    Twenty minutes later, we’re both sitting on the curb, bloody and bruised. Santa’s nursing a black eye, I’m holding a bag of frozen Mcnuggets to my jaw, and we’re sharing a plate of lukewarm mozzarella sticks.

    “You know,” Santa says, “you could at least take Christmas Day off.”

    “Look, Kris,” I say, dunking a cheese stick in marinara, “Here’s the thing about writing. There is no magic. No muse. No mystical Christmas spirit that’s going to write these emails, stories and books for me. It’s just ass in chair, hands on keyboard, day after fucking day.”

    “But-“

    “Discipline trumps motivation every time. You think I always WANT to write? Hell no. But I do it anyway. Because that’s how you get better. That’s how you build an audience. That’s how you keep the promises you make to your readers.”

    Santa sighs, steals one of my cheese sticks. “You’re not going to take time off, are you?”

    “Nope. But I’ll make you a deal. I’ll leave out bourbon instead of milk this year.”

    “…deal.”

    So listen up. There’s no magic formula. No special time of year to take off. Just you, your words, and the daily grind. Feed the beast. Keep the momentum. Write when you don’t want to. Write when the world tells you to slow down. Write when Santa himself tries to unplug your laptop.

    Because at the end of the day, the only person who can write your stories is you. And they’re waiting to be told.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to ice my knuckles and finish this chapter before the sun rises.

    Stephen Walker

    I’m sure you’ve also seen this film and honestly I have never watched it up until a few weeks ago and now it’s one of my favourites…

    P.S. Yes, I fought Santa without pants. As one does.

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    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • The most important day of 2024

    “The first step to success isn’t hard work. It’s clarity.” – Path member Adan Maldonado
    ​

    Last weekend, I was having breakfast with entrepreneur and long-time Path member Mason Vranes.
    ​
    Mason’s business will do more than 15MM in revenue this year, and is one of the most successful online education companies in the world today.
    ​
    ​My advice to Mason:
    ​​
    Sometime during the holidays, spend a single day doing nothing but:
    ​

    1. Reviewing 2024
    2. Organizing, Planning & Strategizing 2025
    3. Implementing systems to execute that strategy.
      ​
      By the end of the day, you will have:
      ​ Total organization of all aspects of your life
      A deep sense of completion and clarity on the lessons you learned in 2024
      Specific, precise goals for 2025, and a clear strategy for hitting every single target
      Systems and processes for executing your strategy without friction

    ​
    As soon as I shared this process with Mason, his eyes lit up:
    ​
    ​”Damn. That’s so powerful. It could literally make the difference of millions in revenue.”
    ​​
    And I agree.
    ​
    In fact:
    ​
    ​I consider this the single most important day of the year…
    ​​
    The day that sets the stage for everything that will happen in the year to come.
    ​
    This is how elite performers in all domains run their lives:
    ​
    With complete clarity.
    ​
    Total organization.
    ​
    Precise strategy.
    ​
    And systematic, relentless execution.
    ​
    I’ll be performing this process for myself, as I do every year — and I know our most successful members will be doing the same.
    ​
    So I thought:
    ​
    ​Why don’t we do it together?
    ​​
    Here’s the idea:
    ​
    Next weekend (December 21st), I’m thinking of running a one-day workshop, tentatively called:
    ​
    ​The Most Productive Day Of The Year
    ​​
    It won’t be no cost, but it will be low cost…
    ​
    …Just enough to make sure everyone involved is serious and committed.
    ​
    We would also make the recordings available for those who can’t make it that day, but want to follow along with the process in their own time.
    ​
    I haven’t decided if I’m going to do it yet, so let me know:
    ​
    ​Are you interested in this type of one-day workshop?
    ​​
    If there’s enough interest, we’ll open it up next week.
    ​
    And, whether or not we do:
    ​
    I strongly (strongly) recommend performing a clarity – strategy – execution day for yourself, no matter what.
    ​
    Like I said:
    ​
    ​This is the day that sets the stage for the entire year to come.
    ​​
    What you sow on this day, you reap throughout the rest of 2025.
    ​
    Hit reply and let me know if you’re interested in joining us.
    ​
    T
    ​
    P.S. Meanwhile, on X…​
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​
    ​

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  • Why my pants-optional approach to audience building actually works

    So you’ve written some words, and somehow people started following you like you’re holding the last coffee bean on Earth.

    Congratulations!

    You’ve accidentally started a cult.

    Here’s how to lean into that power without becoming an actual megalomaniac:

    CREATE AN ALTERNATIVE REALITY (AKA YOUR BRAND VOICE)

    Every good cult needs its own reality tunnel. Lucky for you, you’re already living in one. It’s called your writer’s brain. That weird-ass perspective where you see story possibilities in everything from your neighbour’s suspicious garden gnomes to that one squirrel that keeps flipping you off? That’s your reality. Share it. Make it infectious. Let people see the world through your caffeine-addled eyes. But instead of making them drink suspicious Kool-Aid, you’re just making them drink whatever’s in your questionable coffee mug.

    ESTABLISH SACRED TEXTS (YOUR CONTENT STRATEGY)

    Regular cult leaders have their manifestos. You? You’ve got your blog posts, your newsletters, your tweetstorms about the proper way to fight a goose (you can’t). The key is consistency in your madness. Create content that’s recognisably YOU. Make inside jokes. Build running gags. Create a vocabulary that only your followers understand. Soon they’ll be speaking in your metaphors, and that’s when you know you’ve won.

    DEVELOP RITUALS (ENGAGEMENT PATTERNS)

    Every cult needs its rituals. Instead of midnight chanting, you’re creating hashtag games. Instead of secret handshakes, you’re building comment threads that turn into beautiful disasters. Make your followers feel like they’re part of something bigger than themselves. Because they are. They’re part of your shared delusion, and it’s GLORIOUS.

    CREATE HIERARCHY (COMMUNITY BUILDING)

    Real cults have levels of devotion. Your cult? It has readers who become commenters who become guest posters who become moderators who become… actually, let’s not go full Scientology here. The point is…give people ways to level up their involvement. Create spaces where they can connect with each other. Let them build their own little subsects of your madness.

    PROMISE SALVATION (DELIVER VALUE)

    Here’s where we diverge from actual cults. Instead of promising enlightenment through isolation and bank account drainage, you’re actually giving people something real. Writing advice that doesn’t suck. Stories that make them feel seen. A community of equally weird humans who get their obscure references. You’re not selling snake oil. You’re sharing your genuine, unfiltered, possibly concerning perspective on the craft.

    Remember this. Real cults isolate people. You’re building connections. Real cults demand blind faith. You’re encouraging critical thinking (just with more profanity and coffee). Real cults take. You give your knowledge, your experience, your questionable wisdom about fighting waterfowl.

    Side mission: The Stand by Stephen King

    (A lot of his books have subtexts and subtle hints at cult psychology and it’s incredibly fascinating to go down that rabbit hole)

    Stephen Walker

    P.S. Yes, this entire manifesto was written without pants. As all sacred texts should be.

    P.P.S. If anyone actually starts a real cult based on this, I’m blaming the squirrels.

    P.P.P.S. The squirrels are always watching. Always. I saw one taking notes yesterday. IT HAD A TINY NOTEBOOK.

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    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • The most dangerous risk of all

    “And then there is the most dangerous risk of all… The risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.” – Randy Komisar
    ​

    A lesson that took me way too long to learn:
    ​
    ​The finish line you think you’re chasing does not exist.
    ​​
    The entrepreneur who thinks he’s perfected his business model soon sees the market shift, and his revenue drop.
    ​
    The athlete who rests at the top of the mountain is soon knocked off by younger, hungrier competition.
    ​
    The husband who stops courting his wife soon finds himself in a monogamous relationship with his own right hand.
    ​
    ​As soon as you stop moving forwards, you start falling behind…
    ​​
    …Because the target you’re trying to hit never stops moving.
    ​
    So, instead of asking:
    ​
    “What can I do now so I can stop doing it later?”
    ​
    Ask:
    ​
    ​”What do I never want to stop doing?”​
    ​
    Curious to hear your answers.
    ​

    • T
      ​
      P.S. In case you missed it…​

    ​
    ​

    “I have led a toothless life.
    A toothless life.
    I have never bitten into anything.
    I was waiting.
    I was reserving myself for later on…
    And I have just noticed that my teeth have gone.”

    • Jean-Paul Sartre
      ​
      ​
      ​
      ​

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  • Welcome to the murder shed

    Aggressively slurps coffee while typing this from said murder shed

    It’s not a shed. It’s just a kitchen counter top but murder shed sounded cooler tbh.

    Okay so I woke up a little spicier than usual. Mainly because I’ve seen a lot of my creative friends panicking at the current state this world is in while we inevitably spin towards the sun and cease to exist.

    You know what? The world’s a dumpster fire powered by rich assholes who think they’re playing SimCity with actual human lives.

    We’ve got wars sprouting up like mushrooms after rain, billionaires playing space cowboys while telling us to eat cricket protein, and tech bros trying to convince us that their algorithmic word-vomit is somehow “creative disruption.”

    But you know what? FUCK THAT NOISE.

    I’m sitting here, pantsless (as is my natural state), writing stories about space wizards and murder hornets because that’s what humans DO.

    We make shit. We’ve been making shit since we first smeared berry juice on cave walls to draw dicks. It’s in our DNA, nestled right between our need for tacos and our ability to anthropomorphise literally anything with eyes.

    (And when Tumblr was the thing. Oh lord did I read some VERY out there stories that were anthropomorphised.)

    Anyways…

    These Silicon Valley vampires can shove their “AI-generated content” up their venture-capitalised assets. They’re trying to McDonald’s-ify creativity, turn art into some assembly-line bullshit that hits all the right metrics but has all the soul of a corporate team-building exercise.

    You want to know what matters? The weird-ass story burning a hole in your brain. That poem that makes no fucking sense but feels like a punch to the solar plexus. That painting that looks like your cat threw up a rainbow but MEANS SOMETHING.

    Make your art. Make it badly. Make it weird. Make it yours. Because while they’re all trying to optimise and monetise and sanitise everything, we’ll be here in the trenches, covered in ink and paint and coffee stains, creating REAL shit.

    Because that’s what we do. We’re storytellers, not content generators. We’re artists, not prompt engineers.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go yell at some cats down my back alley and write about apocalyptic bee colonies like the old man that I am.

    Stephen Walker

    Ernest Hemingway on Writing

    P.S. Did I mention I’m not wearing pants? Because that’s important to the creative process.

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    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • You’re climbing a mountain, not a hill.

    “The path of true learning is strewn with rocks, not roses. Anyone who insists on taking the easier way ends up in a fools paradise.” – Jed McKenna
    ​
    Welcome back. ​
    I just arrived home from running a intensive weekend retreat for a small group of practitioners in — of all places — Vegas. ​
    ​It went the way these retreats always go: ​A rocky, bumpy ride; not-smooth sailing over deep waters and unpredictable waves… ​
    …Until finally, somewhere around day three, sunlight broke through the clouds, the sea became calm, and our journey resolved into clear, open space. ​
    That’s the way it goes, and it’s the only way it goes: ​
    To build up we must first break down. ​
    To move forwards we must first overcome what is holding back. ​
    ​To find the light we must first go through the darkness.​
    Those who wish for a smooth, easy ride find themselves white-knuckling the steering wheel when the road inevitably gets rough…​
    …Redoubling their tension and anxiety instead of their grit and resolve, in turn making the road rougher and the ride slower. ​
    Meanwhile, the veterans — the warriors — enter the arena ready for battle, meeting the oncoming storm with relaxed, focused intensity. ​
    ​Instead of flinching in fear, they roll smoothly with each punch before returning fire. ​Instead of running from the dragon, they aim for it’s throat, blade drawn. ​
    Instead of expecting a hill, they prepare for a mountain.​
    And that’s why they reach the peak. ​
    T
    ​
    P.S. This just dropped…​​​
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  • Every word pays rent and the rent was due yesterday.

    Okay, so here’s a little bit for my fellow inkmonkeys…

    I’m about to tell you a story that’ll prove why pure, unfiltered GRIT matters more than your fancy MFA when it comes to slinging sentences.

    This tale might just be the difference between you cranking out masterpieces or crying into your keyboard while refreshing your Twitter mentions.

    Here’s the deal…

    There once was a writer who took more hits than a punch-drunk boxer at last call…

    We’re talking about Octavia Butler, who Stephen King called “a master of science fiction” and who proved every doubter wrong. She worked as a dishwasher, a telemarketer, a potato chip inspector. Basically any job that would let her write between shifts. She’d get up at 2 AM to write before work, scribbling stories while other people slept.

    She heard “no” more times than a toddler at a knife store.

    People told her Black women didn’t write science fiction.

    THEY TOLD HER WRONG.

    She went on to become the first science fiction writer to receive the MacArthur “Genius” Grant, won multiple Hugo and Nebula awards, and set fire through the sci-fi landscape.

    The takeaway?

    Writing isn’t about waiting for the muse to descend from her golden tower with a pumpkin spice latte in hand.

    It’s about:

    1. Writing like someone set your pants on fire. Every. Damn. Day.
    2. Treating your craft like it’s a bar fight. You go in swinging and don’t stop until you’re done.
    3. Reading everything you can get your hands on, even if it’s the ingredients on your cereal box.
    4. Finishing your shit. Half-finished manuscripts are just fancy doorstops.

    And as legendary infomercial pitchman Ron Popeil would say…

    “But wait, there’s more…”

    I’ve got a whole arsenal of writing techniques that’ll make your prose punch readers in the face (in a good way.)

    I know you want the sauce

    So here it is:

    • Write in blood. Metaphorically. Use metaphors and analogies. Spice up your writing. You don’t need to go overboard. Just don’t make it boring (Please don’t actually write in blood. That’s weird and unsanitary.)
    • Kill your darlings with extreme prejudice. Great writing is re-writing. Bang out that first draft, let it sit for a few days or even a week and the come back to it. Be ruthless. Every word pays rent and the rent was due yesterday.
    • Embrace the chaos of first drafts like it’s your long-lost drunk uncle. Sometimes being structured sucks. Just let it flow. Pour it out. It’s easier to organise when you’ve got a shit load of words down.

    I mean we’re made of rejection letters and fuelled by caffeine and spite.

    And if anyone tells you you can’t?

    Write anyway. Write harder. Write until your keyboard begs for mercy.

    Because that’s what real writers do.

    Now excuse me while I mainline this coffee and wrestle with all of these google docs.

    Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler

    Stephen Walker

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    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • From bean-counters to cyber-sleuths: how accountants are a frontline defence against online crime

    Once considered to be simply “bean counters”, accountants now play an important role in the defence, investigation and protection against cybercrime.

    Modern cybercrime includes stealing personal information, hacking into systems, spreading viruses and tricking people into giving away money or data via their business email addresses.

    In Australia, the average cost of a single cybercrime report in 2022 was A$39,000 for small businesses, $88,000 for medium businesses and $62,000 for large businesses.

    In New Zealand, direct financial losses from cybercrime reached NZ$6.6 million in the first quarter of 2024.

    Although there is general guidance on cybersecurity, there is limited information about the specific role accountants can play in its detection and prevention.

    Traditionally focused on financial elements of a business, accountants are often now the frontline of responding to cybercrime.

    Our research examined the role of accountants in cybersecurity and how professionals in these roles can protect businesses from online threats.

    From safekeepers to data gardeners

    As the keepers to sensitive data, including tax records, payroll information and business transactions, accountants can play an essential role in reducing the impacts of cybercrime.

    We conducted 21 interviews with management accountants, cybersecurity experts, legal professionals and senior executives in Australia and New Zealand.

    Our findings highlight the following roles accountants can take.

    Safekeepers

    We found accountants are on the frontline of protecting their organisations from various forms of cybercrime, such as business email compromises.

    Many interviewed accountants described how they carefully reviewed email content and attachments, verified the legitimacy of senders, and checked domain names to prevent fraud. They also reported confirming details with email contacts before taking action.

    Beyond emails, accountants controlled access to sensitive systems and data. For example, interviewees said their jobs involved ensuring only authorised employees had access to financial records or payroll systems.

    By integrating cybersecurity practices into their daily work, accountants helped reduce the risk of cybercrime.

    Architects

    Accountants didn’t just protect data – they helped strengthen cybersecurity through strategic decisions.

    According to our interviewees, accountants often worked with their organisation’s IT team to decide on cybersecurity investments. Using their financial expertise, accountants conducted cost-benefit analyses to ensure limited budgets are spent wisely.

    Additionally, they played a crucial role in strengthening cybersecurity by making strategic decisions in areas such as risk identification, risk management strategies, risk coverage and premiums for cyber insurance.

    Cyber insurance helps cover costs such as fixing systems, notifying customers about the breach and even dealing with legal claims.

    As one research participant explained, accountants can assist the business leadership in answering crucial questions posed by insurers. These can include queries such as:

    What risk you are trying to mitigate? And what sort of risk management you have for cyber security. What kind of risk management in cybersecurity have you got? Have you got proper encryption and do you know whether it is hardware or software encryption?

    Data gardeners.

    Accountants play a key role in helping organisations develop data policies. These policies establish rules and guidelines for managing data, such as how long to retain information, how to protect it and when to delete it.

    Why is this important? Retaining unnecessary data increases the risk of a data breach.

    Accountants leverage their financial expertise to demonstrate how reducing stored data can minimise risks while still retaining valuable information. For example, they might recommend deleting outdated payroll records or customer data that no longer serve a business purpose.

    Importantly, data policies also help organisations comply with privacy and data security regulations, which are becoming increasingly strict across Australia and New Zealand.

    Staying vigilent

    As cybercrime evolves, accountants must stay up to date. Interviewees recommended several ways to do this, including participating in training courses, forums and seminars.

    Courses on cybersecurity, programming and emerging technologies like artificial intelligence (AI) were highlighted as particularly valuable. These courses help accountants better understand how to manage systems, protect data and respond to new forms of cybercrime.

    In-house training tailored to accounting and finance teams is also crucial. Simulated cyberattacks – like phishing emails or fake invoice fraud – help accountants recognise and respond to threats in real-world scenarios.

    To remain effective in this changing landscape, accountants need to keep learning. By building their technical knowledge and participating in tailored training, they can continue to protect their organisations from the ever-evolving world of cyber threats.

  • It’s dandelion time

    “I never wrote a story in my life. What I did was, I would get an idea, and then I would put it on a piece of paper—a paragraph—so I wouldn’t lose it. And another idea would come, and I would write it down.” – Ray Bradbury

    Ray Bradbury up there with Isaac Asimov are two of my favourite science fiction writers of all time.

    They crafted worlds and stories way ahead of their time and the majority of sci-fi films play homage to their concepts.

    Ray was one of the most celebrated 20th-century American writers. He wrote fantasy, science fiction, horror while dipping his toes into mystery and realistic fiction.

    I’ve found myself on my 3rd reading of Dandelion Wine.

    It’s a poetic, semi-autobiographical novel set in the summer of 1928, following 12-year-old Douglas Spaulding in the fictional Green Town, Illinois (based on Bradbury’s hometown of Waukegan)

    If you’re looking for some profound realisations about your own mortality and time. I’d 100% recommend it.

    I’m a sucker for metaphors and his story is based on the preservation of memories and experiences of summer, bottling them up like the sweet golden wine Douglas’s grandfather makes from dandelion petals.

    The reason I dig on this one hard are some of the lessons I’ve pulled from it and I try incorporate it into my own work:

    Sensory Details and Atmosphere

    Each chapter is overloaded with descriptive and specific details about smells, sounds and textures. It’s that which immerses you in the story.

    The open scene describes the morning air as “a great freshness…like a clean bed”

    Writing from Memory

    The thing with trying to pull from memory is that we can’t get every single detail down, but it’s a springboard for ideas which we can build on and the beauty of writing from memory. You only need to write a few words and sentences and then all of the other details magically appear.
    They add an archetypal significance and it shows you can embellish the writing while mixing fiction and autobiography.

    Emotional Truth

    I’ve also found in his novel it prioritises emotional resonance over strict plot, while the characters and situations capture fundamental human experiences.

    It’s a very easy read because each chapter tickles your emotions a little and it just sends you on a journey.

    I’m hoping on this 3rd reading I’ll pick up some more insights that I can pull from. Check it out when you get the chance.

    Dadelion Wine by Ray Bradbury

    Stephen Walker

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    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • Hawkanomics

    Haliey Welch aka Hawk Tuah aka spit on that thang girl is in some hot water.

    Now I don’t care much for crypto shenanigans and I can almost tell from this going out, that your eyes are rolling around the back of your skull – clanking about.

    But there be lessons in here and I’ll break it down…

    So quick little context add if you don’t know what’s up.

    Haliey went viral when a clip of hers found its way on youtube some months ago.

    She was asked “What is one move in bed that makes a man go crazy every time?”

    …and so her reply was “You gotta give em that hawk tuah and spit on that thang…”

    (I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you that onomatopoeia is one of my favourite literary devices)

    Now that is the most wholesome description of a sex act I’ve ever heard and what can I say?

    She’s go the cute little accent to go with it too. Here’s a shortened version of the clip if you’re interested Hawk Tuah Clip

    Now she’s had way more than her 15 minutes of fame. It’s been roughly 7ish months. Her life has changed with the mass amounts of followers gained, interviews had and on top of that she’s even got her own podcast.

    It takes a turn for the worst though and when you have that type of influence thrown at you in such a quick time.

    That’s when the dark side of influencer economics gets put on full display.

    The main point of this is the parasocial bonds we can form with our favourite artists/actors and persons of high influence.

    We get that blind trust and throw ourselves deep into their world without fully understanding what can happen.

    Now I’m not saying that everything is bad but there’s always potential for it. This is where your own morals and ethics come into play.

    Plus you see this with any big fanbase. Swifties Vs Stans Vs Potterheads etc.

    Although the Cult of Hawk Tuah went wild when her meme-coin went live.

    The market cap hit $490 million, but within a few hours 90% of its value was lost.

    Now I’m not great at math but I can tell you that is a shit-show-omega-gigantic loss…

    People are pissed and some have had their lives ruined. Taking out second mortgages to finance this crypto coin.

    That whole crypto space is filled with shit like this, but usually it’s orchestrated over a long period of time.

    This has gone from “She’s cute and wholesome” to “She belongs in prison” real fast.

    Now is it her fault or her team’s fault. Was she puppeteered into doing this due to this rise in fame so fast? I really dunno.

    The final point to this little bit of drama is the type of bond you want with YOUR fans as a creative.

    As a writer I want people to tune in and consume my emails every day.
    I want them to become raving fans or get pissed off with me that they bail.
    I don’t want lukewarm fans. I want the die hard ones who stick around.
    I want them to be able to share their wins and losses with me so we can figure it out together.
    I want them buy my books/stories/warez when I share it with them.
    I want brutal feedback because that’s how we all learn and grow.
    I want them to look for my emails when the hit the spam box.

    I’m sure you’re getting what I mean.

    Die hard fans versus lukewarm fence sitter fans.

    And the only way you can do that is to treat then the way you want to be treated. You want to take out a little bit of time to reply to them when they do send you a message. You need show that you’re human just like them. You don’t want to abuse their trust like in Hailey Welch’s case.

    The world in its current state is a cold place. Everyone’s fighting a battle we can’t see and community is more important than ever.

    And if you want a little more context to the whole Hailey Welch drama. Coffeezilla dropped a little expose. He’s the internet detective for all types of online scams that these influencers throw out.

    Stephen Walker

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    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • Seks, toys and salad…

    Sadly no drugs and no rock ‘n roll.

    Although as a ghostwriter I have “participated” in some of the weirdest markets out there.

    From adult toys, to niche gifts/vinyls that would get you cancelled, to what salad do you eat so that you have maximum energy.

    (I’m not a fan of salad tbh)

    Ghostwriters are the brains behind a “guru” figure, brand or small business and everything in between. We get paid a handsome fee…

    But the biggest down side is you don’t get your flowers. You’re forever in the shadows collecting the cash. Nobody will know that you’ve had your hand in a massive project.

    And so it is.

    I don’t regret it one minute and if I’m in a pinch I get that type of work easily.

    The celebrity life ain’t for me though, but I do want to own my words while either terrifying you with them or inspiring you with them.

    So with 2025 around the corner I’ve decided to become my own Publishing House.

    Traditional publishing sucks ass. Unless you’ve got a mega established audience like Stephen King. If you wrote a banger of a novel, it would get edited down to what they want.

    They will sanitise it. They will rip from it your very soul you’ve bound to it.

    I’m not about that life and I’m sure you’re not either…

    (So this whole publishing house thing, I’ll figure it out) and I’m going to be writing what I love, which is Sci-Fi / Horror and overall pulp styled dime novel content.

    Frank Gruber who wrote The Pulp Jungle was one of my inspirations.

    I know this year is nearly done and I’ll finish off this email with this;

    Mega thank you for those of you who have stuck around when “The Silly Goose Society” was a thing. It was short lived unfortunately (Cause guess that British law doesn’t realise that Parody and Satire law is a thing…) Anywho…

    And I’m glad you stick around and read about my day to day shenanigans.

    If I’ve made you laugh, cry or irrationally angry. Hit reply and tell me.

    Let’s make the last month of 2024 awesome.

    The Pulp Jungle – Frank Gruber (Archive dot org)

    Stephen Walker

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    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom

  • Sh*t or get off the pot (greatest hits)

    Today’s email is a remix of one of our all-time greatest hits, originally sent on June 24. Enjoy.
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    Make your move or pass the ball.
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    Speak up or sit down.
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    ​Sht, or get off the damn pot. ​​ Those moments of lukewarm effort, of kinda doing the thing but really not… ​ The work hours spent flicking around social media instead of in deep, unbroken concentration on your most critical task… ​ The workouts half-assed, the sets stopped short of failure, the exercises skipped, the days missed… ​ The meditations spent lost in thought, sitting without practicing, never generating the diligent focus required for self-mastery… ​ The activities completed as checks on a to-do list, done just to say you did them, showing up without being fully present… ​ The time spent doing work you hate without also working towards doing work you love… ​ The years that pass by with no tangible results, no material progress, no dynamic movement towards your greater vision… ​ The hesitation, the indecision, the fapping and farting and taking it way too damn easy for no good reason other than fear, laziness, and that foggy, cloudy, not-sure-what-it-is that seems like it’s blocking you but evaporates the moment you take action… ​ ​…Those moments are the very building blocks your life is made of.​ ​ And when time all-too-quickly runs out, your life as you know it will be the end result of those moments: ​ The moments you either sat there doom-scrolling with your pants down around your ankles… ​ …Or put your phone down, put your boots on the ground, sht, and get off the damn pot.
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    Happy Thursday.
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    • T
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      ​P.S. If you’re still hungry:
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      ​These 8 rules for life pair nicely with today’s email.​

    “Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work.” – Chuck Close
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    ​Unsubscribe | Update your profile | 5-420 Erb St. W, Suite 433, Waterloo, ON N2L6K6

  • Frostbitten balls and a zombie cop

    Yep, you guessed it.

    I got asked a gem of question by some weirdo on Twitter.

    “If you get caught out in a snow storm and you were wet through and had no option of drying off but you had to keep going. Do you reckon you’d get frostbite on your balls?”

    I am definitely not qualified to answer that question and please tell me if you are cause I wanna know.

    (Definitely not gonna google and research that till 4am…)

    The point here is that people are curious by nature.

    And I can tell you this. I have asked some really really weird and stupid questions, but it’s also for me it’s just entertaining to see people’s responses.

    I’m sure you’ve played that “Would you rather?”

    “Would you rather wipe your ass with coarse grit sandpaper or lick a cheese grater?”

    I’d rather lick a cheese grater to be honest.

    I mean that’s a tame question, but if you want to spice it up a little.

    Just jump on to reddit…

    So yeah. We’re curious by nature and as much as we might have a visceral reaction to something, we do enjoy a bit of a shock factor as well.

    That’s why after getting caught out in the cold today, piss wet through while grabbing a coffee…

    I’m going to be planting my rear in a hot bath and read some Zombie Cop from my boy Ben Settle.

    Everything Ben writes is dripping in curiosity and his shock factor is just chefs kiss

    Stephen Walker

    If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

    Stephen Walker
    Unit 146317
    PO Box 7169
    Poole
    BH15 9EL
    United Kingdom