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So a little while ago I happened to participate in the weirdest threesome of my life.

NOT THAT KIND

You perverts.

I don’t mean anything sexual.

I mean from a friendship and relationship point of view, the kind that makes you question if the sky daddy up there is just playing out some reality show for bored interdimensional teenagers or whatever…

But as the kids say nowadays.

Let me spill the tea.

It’s more of a clusterfuck but I’m sure you’ll find it entertaining cause it involves yours truly.

WOMAN #1: The one that got away, then came back, then nuked everything from orbit.

We reconnected after months of radio silence.

And I shit you not. It’s like someone out there has a voodoo doll of me and out of the blue it’s like “hey remember that person you adored? HERE THEY ARE AGAIN, SUCKER.” and so the messenger icon lights up and low and behold I get a message from her.

The thing is. We had history. Like a punch to the gut type of history.

WOMAN #2: Industry adjacent cool person with gaming cred and cheese opinions. NOT ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH ME. I repeat for the people in the back.

JUST. FUCKING. FRIENDS.

ME: The idiot standing in the blast radius with a “this is fine” coffee mug.

Here’s what happened.

Woman #1 and I rekindled whatever smoldering ember remained of our previous connection. It felt good. Like finding that one sock you thought the dryer demons had claimed for their cloth sacrifice ritual. Meanwhile, I’d made friends with Woman #2

(who is well known in my industry and once dated someone in our mutual circle because life loves a good six-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon situation)

Woman #2 and I just hit it off. Pure platonic chemistry. The kind where you find yourself sending World of Warcraft memes at 2 AM and having existential debates about whether Gouda is overrated. (It isn’t. Fight me.)

Just two humans enjoying each other’s company without the complication of wanting to see each other naked.

(And yeah yeah, I hear you. “Men and women can’t be friends without sexual tension!”

That’s some When Harry Met Sally bullshit we can dissect another time. The 1980s called, they want their heteronormative assumptions back.)

But here’s where everything went sideways fast.

Woman #1 developed thoughts (the dangerous kind)

Insecurities bloomed like toxic flowers.

Woman #2 got dragged into our emotional shit show.

Things escalated from “slightly awkward” to “probably gonna bomb Russia if they had the chance”

Despite my honesty with Woman #1 Because I’m a grown ass adult who uses words instead of passive aggressive Instagram stories and Facebook posts, everything went full nuclear. The emotional equivalent of Chernobyl, except instead of radiation it was just hurt feelings and misunderstandings spreading through the atmosphere.

It’s sad really, because if anything had progressed further with Woman #1 and we started actually dating, Woman #2 would have been the first to know. I would have sent her a formal notification, possibly via carrier pigeon or one of those singing telegram gorillas. That’s how fucking clear I would’ve made it.

So while everything went to hell in a handbasket. A particularly stylish handbasket with flames painted on the sides

Woman #1 vanished from my life like she entered the witness protection program.

Meanwhile, Woman #2 stuck around, still sending memes and occasionally mentioning that Woman #1 was “stupid to let it get to this point.”

And I’m trying to pull some creative / marketing / magical lesson here…

But there’s no fortune cookie wisdom to wrap this shit show in a bow.

Sometimes people’s insecurities just get them.

I don’t hold it against them. I wish them happiness, success, good hair days, and whatever else people wish for others they once cared about.

But damn if it doesn’t sting watching something pretty amazing get discarded like that.

That’s just life I guess.

Stephen Walker

P.S. Feel free to buy yours truly a couple of Guinness to wash away the ugh from this clusterfuck you’ve just put yourself through. I guess I’m better off sticking to what I’m good at. Writing and reading books.

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Stephen Walker
Unit 146317
PO Box 7169
Poole
BH15 9EL
United Kingdom

An ex client hit me with the question the other day and this seems to be a recurring theme for anyone who slides into my world.

“How do you do what you do?”

And I could feel it.

This little flicker of hope in their voice, like I was about to drop some ancient, mystical wisdom on their head.

Maybe I had a secret formula. A magical ritual. A holy grail of productivity that only the chosen few could access.

But here’s what I told them as I tell everyone…

I just show up.

That’s it. That’s the whole thing. I show up and do the work. Day in, day out. Rain or shine. Whether I feel like it or not. Whether it’s fun or it’s hell.

It’s not original advice, by the way. I didn’t invent it. Smarter people than me figured this out a long time ago.

People who’ve built empires, written masterpieces, created works that make the world stop and feel something.

And they all say the same damn thing. You show up and do the thing.

Even when it sucks.

Even when you’d rather be anywhere else.

Even when you’re sure it’s not good enough, or smart enough, or whatever enough.

I always wished that improvement would be like a strike of lightening. I’d be walking around outside and then bam all of a sudden I’m the best at whatever it is I’m doing.

And as much as I’m not a fan of the hustle grind culture I’m annoyed to say that it happens in the grind.

Like me, writing this email right now. Cause, trust me, I didn’t wake up today with fireworks in my chest and a hot muse sitting on my lap and whispering in my ear. But I’m writing it anyway.

Or when I’m teaching myself some absurdly complicated piece of music software that feels like it was programmed by a sadistic robot… but I keep poking at it, learning one thing at a time, because that’s how you get better.

Every time you show up, you’re turning the wheel. Maybe it’s a tiny turn. Maybe it feels like nothing’s moving at all. But it is. I promise you, it is.

And one day, you’ll look back and realise you’ve been doing the thing so long, so consistently, that you’re good at it. Maybe even great. And the people around you will ask, “How do you do it?”

And you’ll tell them the same thing…

I just show up.

So, go. Do the thing. Do it good or do it bad but as long as you’re doing it. You’ll get to where you want to be.

Even if you don’t feel like it.

That’s little Monday kick up the ass.

Stephen Walker

https://stphnwlkr.com/theleague

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Stephen Walker
Unit 146317
PO Box 7169
Poole
BH15 9EL
United Kingdom