Blog
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Today, I’m going to read your mind.
Today, I’m going to read your mind.
And your job is to not let me.
Up for the challenge?
If you just answered yes, the game has already begun — and you’re already a step behind.
But let’s continue, because we both know you can do better than that.
After all, you’ve always known you can do better.
You know you’re capable of far more than you’ve been showing; your results are nowhere near your full potential.
And yet, you watch hundreds — thousands — of others succeeding, while you fall further behind.
You can hear the clock ticking.
You can see the window of opportunity closing.
And there are moments, when you’re tossing in bed at night, when doubt creeps in and nearly overcomes you before you wrestle it back down into the shadows of your mind and tell yourself:
No — it’s just a matter of time.
As soon as that last missing piece falls into place, all the doubt and confusion and frustration will resolve into clarity, and this dream will finally begin to become a reality.
It will, because it has to.
An average, default life is the one thing you will never accept, never tolerate, and never, ever settle for.
And you are willing to do whatever it takes — whatever it takes — to make sure that never happens.
I know you are.
Because, like I said, I’m reading your mind.
How, you ask?
Voodoo, you say?
Yes, I reply.
An ancient voodoo, in fact, that the old masters once called:
Psychology (sy-kol-oh-gee)
This dark art — “psychology” — has long been forgotten in modern times…
Buried under sophisticated modern strategies like placing emojis in subject lines and Lamborghinis in thumbnails.
And yet, the power of “psychology” lives on…
Granting the blessings of rapid growth and brand magnetism to any founder daring enough to sit down with a cup of coffee and an empty Notion document and actually think deeply about their audience’s inner experience.
That’s the key word — inner.
Not just their problems and goals, but their thoughts and emotions about those problems and goals.
In this particular case, it was easy:
All I did was think about my own inner experience growing my first business; the pressure, the doubt, the sense that I was capable of more, and all the nights I lay awake wondering if I’d ever make it.
That’s the stuff nobody talks about, but everyone struggles with.
That’s the stuff that moves people.
(and, importantly, allows you to actually help them — because you can only help someone once you understand what they’re actually going through)
Apply to your copy, your content, your outreach, your ads, and, if you’re feeling extra spicy, your girlfriend.
Really. She’ll love you for it.
- T
P.S. Nuclear-grade technique:
Describe your customer avatar to Claude, in detail, and then ask it to write a 5 paragraph inner dialogue in their voice — before, during, and after using your product or service.
(yes, it also works for girlfriends)
“When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. It is as though he were saying: Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it’s like to be me.” – Carl Rogers
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- T
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Dude, I think I’m broken
“It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.” – Charlie Munger
One of my childhood friends, we’ll call him DJ, is the most charismatic person I’ve ever met.
True story:
He once took a bubble bath, with the door wide open, in the middle of a house party.
He didn’t come out for like three hours.
He just sat ass-naked in that tub, playing with a rubber duck and singing songs at the top of his lungs to anyone who walked by.
Anyway, I’ve never met a single person who doesn’t love DJ.
Which is why I was so shocked, a few years ago, when he told me he’d developed crippling social anxiety.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, man. When I go into work I’m terrified to talk to my employees, so I just sit alone in my office and avoid people.”
At first I thought he was fucking with me, but the look in his eyes was sincere.
“I feel like something’s broken. I never used to get anxious about anything. Now I’m anxious all the time.”
So we started brainstorming solutions…
Everything from medication to herbal supplements to resolving a hidden childhood trauma he doesn’t actually have.
Then a random thought floated through my mind:
“DJ, how much coffee are you drinking?”
“Oh, I dunno. Like six or seven cups.”
“A day? Are you fxcking kidding me?”
“Is that bad?”
“Yeah bro.”
“You think that could be the problem?”
“Yeah, bro.”
So DJ decides to cut back to one coffee a day.
A week later he texts me:
“Oh my god I feel so much better. I haven’t had anxiety all week.”
Moral of the story, DJ wasn’t broken.
He was just being an idiot.
And thankfully, that’s the case with most of our problems:
They’re rarely as daunting as they feel, and the solutions are usually much simpler than we think.
Our lack of motivation, for example, rarely comes from a deep-rooted character defect…
…It usually just comes from doom scrolling, video games and wanking too much.
Our self-doubt rarely comes from an incurable trauma we’ve been repressing our entire lives…
…It usually just comes from repeatedly breaking promises to ourselves and failing to do what we told ourselves we would do.
And our inability to focus rarely comes from a legitimate psychological condition that requires medication to fix…
…It usually just comes from too much coffee and red bull and Zyn and weed and processed sugar and brain rot content and creeping baddies on TikTok when you should be working and most of your other favorite things that don’t feel nearly as good as your dopamine-drunk brain tricks you into believing they will.
Of course, there are exceptions:
Legitimate traumas and psychological illnesses absolutely exist.
But they are far, far rarer than the simple, easy-to-solve problems we inflict on ourselves by doing the obvious wrong thing instead of the obvious right thing, over and over again.
So if you feel broken, chances are:
You’re not.
And the solution, thankfully, is much simpler than you think.
- T
P.S. This track is the solution.
“There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.” – Anais Nin
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Armchair psychologists who can dish it but can’t take it
Nothing cracks me up more than watching someone try to psychoanalyse you out of your own position, then immediately fold like a cheap suit the moment you push back.
You post something with clear reasoning. You explain your stance. You lay out exactly why you believe what you believe. Then some armchair social media psychologist shows up in your reply like they just discovered Freud, ready to explain to you why you’re wrong about your own thoughts.
“Actually, what you’re really saying is…” No, what I’m really saying is exactly what I fucking said.
“I think you’re just projecting because…” I think you’re just desperate to sound smart by diagnosing strangers on the internet.
“Have you considered that maybe you feel this way because…” Have you considered that maybe I feel this way because I have a functioning brain and came to a reasoned conclusion?
These people love playing therapist until someone turns the analytical lens back on them. They’ll spend paragraphs dissecting your motivations, questioning your reasoning, and explaining why you’re clearly suffering from some cognitive bias or emotional hangup.
But the second you call out their bullshit? The second you point out that maybe their need to constantly correct and analyse others says something about their own insecurities?
“Thank you for pointing that out. I won’t make that mistake again and will keep my comments to myself or people who are interested to hear them.”
Suddenly they’re all humble and reflective. Suddenly they realise that maybe, just maybe, unsolicited psychological analysis isn’t welcome. Suddenly they understand that not every opinion needs their expert commentary.
Where was all that self awareness when they were trying to explain to you why you don’t actually believe what you clearly stated you believe?
It’s the intellectual equivalent of being a tough guy until someone actually steps up to fight.
All that confidence evaporates the moment they encounter someone who won’t just accept their amateur psychology session lying down.
The best part is how they frame their retreat as some kind of enlightened realisation, like they’re taking the high road by shutting up. “I’ll keep my comments to myself” sounds so noble, so mature, so evolved.
What it really means is:
“I can’t handle having my own behaviuor scrutinised the way I was scrutinising yours, so I’m going to act like I’m being considerate while actually just running away from the confrontation I started.”
Here’s a wild and radical idea…
Maybe people are capable of understanding their own positions. Maybe when someone explains their reasoning clearly, you don’t need to dig deeper for hidden psychological motivations. Maybe not every disagreement is an opportunity to practice your internet psychology degree.
And if you’re going to dish out analysis, learn to take it. If you’re going to question other people’s reasoning, be prepared to have your own reasoning questioned. If you’re going to play therapist, don’t cry when someone turns the session around on you.
The internet doesn’t need more amateur psychologists. It needs more people who can engage with ideas without trying to psychoanalyse the person behind them.
Save the couch sessions for people who actually asked for them.
And with all that being said.
Pick up this absolute gem and never lose an argument again
Stephen Walker.
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Stephen Walker, Unit 146317, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL, United Kingdom
