Blog

One thing I’ve become addicted to over the years is collecting domain names.

Not to flip them. Just to collect them for potential projects in the future.

Unfortunately today has been a very expensive lesson in not setting auto-renew on for a domain you’ve had for ages.

That lesson cost me 500 freedom doll hairs and frankly I can’t even be mad at myself for it.

I just re-frame it into a lesson.

This same domain name has caused me grief with what I wanted to do. Luckily I got around the shenanigans with an IP lawyer and I’ve got the green light to do what I wanted to do in the first place.

So there will be silly goose-ry returning in an improved and better way. My playful philosophy wrapped into the most angry creature known to man.

It hits all of the creative aspects while keeping this fun.

Things are too serious nowadays and while we want to do good work. We also need to have fun…

That being said. There’s also a lot of chatter about Alex Hormozi’s new launch for his new book…

I can respect the dudes hustle and the fact that he’s taken some old advertising principles and made it relevant to new people coming into the game.

If you’re seasoned and been around the marketing world for years. You’ll know a lot of this stuff is standard in the direct response sense.

Fun to watch and learn from so I’ll give him the props.

Now I need to vanish into the night with a coffee and go make some stuff.

Stephen Walker.

If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

Stephen Walker, Unit 146317, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL, United Kingdom

This isn’t going to be a massively long email.

I’m just giving a shoutout to the man whose book dragged me out of the darkest place I’ve ever gone to.

I made it out and hey, life is not too bad.

He’s started getting into YouTube and so if you can do me a massive favour and go check out his new video + subscribe if you dig it…

The link is here and 100% worth the watch.

Dan is an absolute lad, a great friend, coach and mentor and one of the handful of people who I look up to and admire.

So give that bearded hairy dude some loving by checking out his stuff.

If you’re reading this Dan. You’re the bestest influencer I know…

And off the back of that video, it gave me a little kicking cause I’ve been putting off doing something I’ve always wanted to do.

But that’ll be something for another email.

Now it’s time for a few slices of pizza and a new book.

Stephen Walker.

If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

Stephen Walker, Unit 146317, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL, United Kingdom

You need rules. Real rules. The kind that make people uncomfortable. The kind that separate the wheat from the chaff and leave the chaff standing outside in the cold wondering what the hell just happened.

Let me tell you about a rule that changes everything for me…

Once you’re in, if you leave, you can’t come back. Period. End of story. No second chances unless the universe literally catches fire and even then we’ll consider it on a case by case basis.

Sounds harsh? Good. It’s supposed to.

Here’s what happens when you implement this kind of boundary.

Suddenly your tribe becomes precious. Suddenly being part of your world means something. Suddenly people pay attention instead of treating you like background noise they can tune out whenever something shinier comes along.

I learned this from my pal Ben. 4 shiny quarters Vs 100 sticky pennies…

Think about it. Right now, your customers know they can leave and come crawling back whenever they want. They can ignore your emails for months, buy from your competitors, treat you like their backup plan…

It’s like the “You up?” booty call.

I’m not about being a booty call…

But when people know that walking away means walking away forever? Everything changes. They engage differently. They value what you’re offering differently. They show up differently.

Scarcity creates value. And permanence creates commitment.

The beautiful part? This rule filters out the wrong people automatically. The tire kickers, the bargain hunters, the people who were never going to be good customers anyway…

…they self select out.

They hear “no second chances” and run for the hills.

Let them run.

The people who stay? The people who think “holy shit, this person has standards”? Those are your people. Those are the customers who pay attention, follow directions, and don’t waste your time with endless questions they could have answered by reading what you already sent them.

I mean it can be part of your philosophy or rules of business.

I’m more of a creating a culture kind of person. A tribe. A place where membership actually means something because not everyone gets to be here.

Your email list becomes exclusive. Your products become sought after. Your attention becomes valuable.

And yes, you’ll lose people. Some will leave just to test if you really mean it. When you don’t chase them, when you don’t beg them to come back, when you let them discover what it feels like to be on the outside looking in. Some will realise what they gave up.

Too bad. They made their choice.

What most people don’t understand is the customers you lose by having standards weren’t really customers anyway.

They were tourists. And tourists don’t build businesses. Committed tribe members do.

Set your rules. Enforce them consistently. Let people know that being part of your world is a privilege, not a right.

A dictatorship if you must…

And watch what happens when you stop chasing people who don’t want to be caught.

Your tribe will tighten. Your engagement will skyrocket. Your revenue will come from people who actually give a damn.

Nothing makes people want something more than knowing they might not be able to have it.

Be exclusive. Be unavailable. Be the place people fight to get into and not the place they take for granted.

This is probably one of the most important things I learnt from my boy Ben Settle

I just do what smarter people tell me to do and hey, so far it’s been working pretty damn well…

Stephen Walker.

If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

Stephen Walker, Unit 146317, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL, United Kingdom

Whatever happens around you.

Don’t take it personally.

Nothing other people do is because of you.

Deeply…

It’ because of themselves.

Situations might feel so personal. It honestly has nothing to do with you.

What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are only projections of their own internal thoughts.

We all have our own reality that unfolds daily. When we decide to take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our reality, and we try to impose our reality onto theirs.

When we don’t take things personally, it gives us more power over our thoughts, feelings and actions.

When we don’t take things personally, we recognise the individuality of others and we can accept that other people are different from us.

We have little control over how others view us and relate to us and frankly, that shouldn’t concern you one bit.

We have more control over how we view ourselves and the situation, and how we respond to it.

The real truth is that we tend to make assumptions and judgements about other people without knowing the fully story. Their full story. And more often than not, what we assume about a person is wrong.

Life is tough. The world is unforgiving and finding a place for us to fit into as we grow, heal and learn gets difficult. We lost our friends and family. We lose the people close to us who were our home and we’re often cast aside to figure it out on our own.

And when we do pick ourselves up. Brush ourselves off and get back into the world. We look around and realise everything has become transactional.

As humans. We are not designed for the world built on transactions.

We are built for love and connection, which leads to growth.

I won’t pretend to know the answers, but I sure as hell know what I want.

Love and growth and becoming a safe space is the end goal.

Stephen Walker.

P.S. I was having a good chat to a friend of mine who lives in Wales and she was like “Why are all South African’s so stoic by nature?” and I just said that we’ve been part of a world that only shared unkindness and segregation and we decided we want no part of it. We might be tough but we are built on love, even if that love was cultivated on our own.

If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

Stephen Walker, Unit 146317, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL, United Kingdom

My good pal Seneca once penned this…

(I’ve studied a lot of his work)

“Most human beings, Paulinas,* complain about the meanness of nature, because we are born for a brief span of life, and then because this spell of time that has been given to us rushes by so swiftly and rapidly that with very few exceptions life ceases for the rest of us just when we are getting ready for it…” *A friend of Seneca’s

Granted, Seneca wrote this letter to his buddy Paulinus about 2,000 years ago, and it might as well have been written yesterday about your sorry ass sitting there with all that creative fire burning in your chest, doing absolutely nothing about it…

Feels like a twist of the knife, right? Always getting ready. Always preparing. Waiting for the perfect moment. The perfect setup. A confidence level high enough, where you finally put your art out into the world.

Although right now. The timer is running out and we’re on our way to our final dirt nap.

You’ve got stories burning holes in your brain. Paintings that want to exist. Songs scratching at you. Ideas that make your heart beat while your hands sweat with excitement.

And what are you doing? You’re “getting ready”

You’re waiting until you’re better. Until you have more time. Until you have the right equipment. Until the stars align and your anxiety takes a vacation and your imposter syndrome decides to fuck off for a while.

Now I like Seneca. And he understood something that you don’t…

Life doesn’t give you a practice round. There’s no dress rehearsal. There’s no moment when you suddenly feel “ready enough” to put your work into the world.

You think Van Gogh felt ready when he painted Starry Night?

You think he thought, “Yes, now I’m finally good enough to create something beautiful”?

Hell no. He was broke, mentally unstable, and convinced he was a failure. But he painted anyway.

The alternative was dying with all that beauty trapped inside him, which was worse than any criticism or rejection.

That burning urge you feel? That desperate desire to create and share? Some call it artistic ambition, but we all know that it’s your soul trying to complete its assignment before the timer runs out.

Days spent “getting ready”, are days the day where your art doesn’t get to exist in the world. We don’t need permission, cause those are lost days people don’t get to experience what you have to offer.

You want to know what’s really mean about nature? It’s not that life is short. It’s that life is short and most people waste it preparing to live instead of actually living.

Art doesn’t have to be perfect. Hell, it doesn’t even need to change the world in its current state. It doesn’t have to make you famous or rich or validated by strangers on the internet.

It just has to exist.

The universe plays this really weird joke on us…

While you’re sitting there worried about whether your work is good enough, time is making the decision for you. While you’re waiting to feel ready, you’re getting closer to not having any time left to be ready for anything.

Start today. Not when you feel inspired. Not when you have more skills. Not when you’re less afraid.

Today.

Create something. Share something. Put one piece of your inner world into the outer world and see what happens.

The only thing worse than creating something imperfect is dying with it still trapped inside you.

Seneca knew this. He knew that most people spend their whole lives getting ready to live and then run out of time before they ever actually start.

Don’t be most people.

Your art is waiting. Your audience is waiting. Your future self is waiting.

And time? Time doesn’t give a shit about your preparation schedule.

Get to work. We’re a long time dead.

Stephen Walker.

P.S. I know this email might’ve felt like a bit of bullying but it’s the good kind. Get a bit of Seneca’s stoic messaging into your world…

If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

Stephen Walker, Unit 146317, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL, United Kingdom

Your brain is a lying liar that lies…

So I’m not gonna pretend that I know everything but there are some common things floating about the interwebs right now and there’s a little heaviness about which is not good.

Life might feel like some hidden force is taking a steaming hot dump on your reality.

Hopefully you’re not sinking a bottle whiskey every night. Or maybe you’re stuck, scrolling social media until 3 am like it’s your job. Maybe you’re eating your feelings one take out meal at a time.

And then your brain keeps telling you this…

“This is just who I am. This is my life. I’m broken”

Your brain is a lying bastard.

Your habits aren’t carved in stone. They’re just stories you keep telling yourself. And stories can be rewritten.

But you can’t just think positive thoughts and expect magic. That Instagram influencer bullshit doesn’t work. You need to get dirty. You need to reprogram the narrative at a deeper level.

Let’s say you want to quit drinking as an example.

Your brain has spent years building this beautiful little fairy tale…

“Alcohol helps me relax. Alcohol makes me funnier. Alcohol makes everything better.”

Every time you pop the top and pour one into the glass. You’re reinforcing it.

So you flip the script.

“Alcohol is poison”

Not metaphorically. Literally. It’s a neurotoxin that slowly destroys your liver, fucks with your sleep, and turns your brain into mush.

When you look at that bottle now. There’s no relaxation. Only pretty little poison dressed up in a pretty little bottle.

You repeat this. Daily. Hourly if you have to.

Reframing isn’t a one and done deal. It’s a different kind of warfare. You’re literally fighting years of conditioning with new information. And your brain will resist like a stubborn toddler who doesn’t want to eat vegetables.

This is where it gets interesting.

You can use your awareness of the bad shit as fuel for the good shit.

Every time you feel that craving, that’s data. That’s your brain trying to run the old program. Instead of fighting the craving, you acknowledge it…

“There’s my brain trying to poison me again”

Then you reframe…

“I choose things that make me stronger”

This works for everything. Social media addiction? “This app is designed to steal my time and sell my attention to the highest bidder”

Junk food? “This processed garbage makes me feel like shit and look worse”

Toxic relationships? “This person drains my energy and adds nothing to my life”

It’s changing the fundamental story your brain tells you about these things.

And yes, it feels fake at first. Your brain will throw tantrums. It will try to convince you that the old ways were better. That you’re depriving yourself. That you’re being dramatic.

Let it whine.

Keep reframing. Keep repeating the new story. Keep feeding your brain better information.

Over time. The new narrative becomes automatic. You’ll look at that bottle of poison and feel nothing. You’ll see that toxic person’s name on your phone and feel relief that you don’t have to deal with their drama anymore.

Your brain will literally rewire itself around the new story.

But you have to be consistent. You have to be relentless. You have to treat this like the mental warfare it actually is.

Addiction is your brain running the wrong program. And reframing is how you debug it.

Start today. Pick one thing that’s fucking up your life. Write down the story your brain tells you about it. Then write down the truth. The real, ugly, uncomfortable truth.

And then repeat that truth until it becomes automatic.

Your brain is programmable. You just need to learn how to write better code and that’s something our robot overlord AI turd nuggets can’t do.

This might’ve been a little heavier than my regularly writer-ly shenanigans, but I’m sure someone out there might’ve needed this at this very moment.

Stephen Walker.

https://www.facebook.com/stphnwlkr

P.S. Feel free to come hit me up on Facebook Messenger and tell me I’m being full of shit.

If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

Stephen Walker, Unit 146317, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL, United Kingdom

The most magnetic thing on earth is liking your own energy.

Or what the kids say nowadays; “Vibe”

I’ll stick to energy though because it’s a lot deeper than that.

Swami Vivekananda had similar notions in his teachings.

That were along the lines of “If you don’t befriend your own inner state, it’s hard for others to feel at ease with you”

“All power is within you”

“Strength is life”

“You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself”

He had a lot of themes that are interchangeable with what all of these new age western teachers are crossing into. I believe the sentiment is there…

Although personally I’m a mixture of all things philosophical and spiritual. I’ve dove into the religious areas of things and well…

The level of indoctrination wasn’t really my thing.

So what does liking your own energy mean?

It’s physiological:

Your baseline arousal. Your sleep. Your breath. Your posture. Your nervous system tone.

It’s emotional:

Your current mood and the way you relate to it. Resisting vs allowing it.

Interpersonal presence:

The nonverbal signals you broadcast. Eye contact. Pace. Voice. Your overall congruence.

Spiritual/Values:

Feeling aligned with what you hold sacred. Your purpose. Your integrity. Your service you’re giving out to the world.

Those key points over there can send you on a rabbit hole of self discovery and if you decide to go down that route. You’d be surprised at the person you could become if you start being a little more present.

That’s the thing with this whole always on internet life we live.

We forget about the inner workings of who we are and what we stand for.

This is part of what makes us creative and loving humans.

We pick up on each other’s states. If we are calm we co-regulate others around us. The opposite happens if we are in self contempt. That just spreads tension.

Congruence reads as trust. When your words, body and intent match up. People relax. If you do the opposite. People pick up on it.

Boundaries and generosity come into the mix too. Liking your own energy often comes across as narcissism (Which is such fun word to see people throw around on social media without knowing much about it…)

If you like your energy. It frees attention from your self monitoring so you can be more present, curious, kind and playful.

How many times have you either seen a group of people or couples sat around a restaurant table staring into the sadness rectangle in their hands?

A lot right?

If you truly liked your own energy or your vibe. You wouldn’t be in that position. You’d be wanting to get to know others and explore.

We want to be connected with ourselves and the others that are around us.

That’s what the true meaning of this all is.

As John Keating aka Robin Williams said in Dead Poets Society:

“We are food for worms, lads”

We are all going to die.

So while we’re here on this earth. We might as well get to liking our own energy. Fall in love with ourselves and if we can. Help others to see the beauty in it all.

It’s the most magnetic thing we can do.

Stephen Walker.

P.S. I know this was a little heavier than the usual silly goose type emails. Go make a cup of tea. You deserved it.

P.P.S. If you haven’t seen Dead Poets Society. Shame on you.

If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe

Stephen Walker, Unit 146317, PO Box 7169, Poole, BH15 9EL, United Kingdom