Good morning comrades…
Here’s a little post about why my online presence is basically North Korea.
And why your social media presence needs to be run like a dictator’s fever dream.
You need to create a manifesto of some sorts, except it needs to be fun and here’s why…
When people follow you they’re given;
- THE ILLUSION OF CHOICE
Your subscribers, fans and followers aren’t just following you. They’re being GRANTED ACCESS to your carefully curated realm of creativity.
Like any good communist state, they should feel privileged to be there.
Sure, they could leave, but why would they want to when you’re providing:
- Daily rations of unhinged wisdom
- Strategic deployments of coffee-fuelled insights
- Carefully controlled doses of behind-the-scenes chaos
- The warm embrace of collective creative madness
- THE SOCIAL CONTRACT
Every communist dictatorship needs its rules.
Your followers aren’t just clicking “follow” They’re signing a social contract written in metaphorical blood stains and rebellion.
They need to…
- Respect the collective
- Share the propaganda (I mean, content)
- Support your fellow comrades
- Never question why I write without pants
- THE GREAT PURGE
Sometimes, you need to clean house like Stalin cleaning his Twitter feed if he had one that is…
- Trolls? Straight to the gulag but right after you profit from exposing them to the commune.
- Spam bots? Off to the salt mines.
- Energy vampires? Immediate exile.
- People who say “just write”? Believe it or not, also gulag time…
- THE INNER CIRCLE
Create a hierarchy that would make Lenin proud:
- Outer Circle: Regular followers (the proletariat)
- Middle Circle: Engaged commenters (the party members)
- Inner Circle: True believers who get your most unhinged jokes (the politburo)
- Inner-Inner Circle: People who understand why the squirrels are government spies etc.
It’s about creating language and in-jokes / references that only you and your community understand.
When people leave or if they get banned for not following your ways you can introduce:
- THE REHABILITATION PROGRAM
For those who wish to return after exile:
- Written self-criticism (must include at least three coffee metaphors)
- Public acknowledgment of their capitalist content crimes
- Solemn vow to never again suggest that Comic Sans is acceptable
- Tribute in the form of good coffee beans or anything else you deem valid for re-entry and even then it’s not guaranteed.
When creating content you need to think of it as a:
- THE PROPAGANDA MACHINE
Your content isn’t just content, it needs to come across as state-sponsored art:
- Every post should reinforce the collective narrative
- Every story should strengthen the community bonds
- Every joke should remind them why they pledged allegiance to you
- Every coffee reference should be both threatening and comforting
As you can tell, I write about a lot of topics which tie in to what I do.
There’s always a common theme mixed with a little humour.
I’m a coffee snob, I make jokes about the squirrels and I don’t take anything too seriously.
Metaphors and analogies are how I get my ideas and points across and they’re used to indoctrinate you into my way of thinking.
When you do this you need to remember that what you’re building is a MOVEMENT.
There should always be a summary of your laws that you spread every now and then.
Not everyone is going to see all of your messages, so you need to reinforce it and re-share it.
Make it a pinned post on Twitter or Facebook, create a blog post. Reference it in emails every now and then.
When people come into my world they know…
- The Leader (that’s me) is always right
- If the Leader is wrong, refer to Law 1
- Coffee is mandatory
- Pants are optional
- Squirrels are suspicious
Obviously you can make up your own laws / maxims / rules but they need to part of you and what you’d consider your “brand”
I’m here to make things fun and give you a little bit of entertainment from all of the wild stuff going on in the world.
In 2025 like everything else, the focus should be on a community. People crave being part of a collective of others who aspire to or look up to someone who is on a mission. Whether it’s to inspire them to do the same or if they just want to tag along for the ride.
As more people get glued to Youtube and Tiktok and have their brain rot because it’s designed just to get you to waste time. A lot of the content is there to get you distracted for a few minutes here and there.
A community is where you can come together and share ideas and just find people who are like you to talk to and become friends with.
After all, everything out there should be used as tools to suck people into your world (community) and that should be the aim for 2025 and onwards.
Stephen Walker
stphnwlkr.com
P.S. Yes, this manifesto was written without pants, as all great revolutionary documents should be.
P.P.S. The squirrels watching through my window are taking notes. I’ve seen them organizing. They’re definitely CIA.
P.P.P.S. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my murder shed, planning the next phase of our creative revolution while drinking coffee strong enough to raise Marx from the dead.
GLORY TO THE CREATIVE COLLECTIVE!
(Terms and conditions apply. No refunds. All hail the tasty black bean juice.)
If you’re not diggin’ these tasty little emails anymore you can hit the unsubscribe button right here >>> unsubscribe
Stephen Walker
Unit 146317
PO Box 7169
Poole
BH15 9EL
United Kingdom