A close friend of mine dropped me a message a few days ago about feeling anxious all the time and whether or not what they’re doing in their lives, business etc was good.
Now I’m not super-massive into the personal development scene as I used to be. I look at it more now from a psychology and human behaviour point of view.
In a nutshell. They’re anxious all the time because of Spotlight effect (or spotlight syndrome)
Which is the tendency to overestimate how much other people notice our appearance and behaviour. In other words, we tend to think there is a spotlight shining on us and that everyone is paying close attention to what we do or how we look, when in reality, people are often caught up in their own thoughts and concerns and are paying much less attention to us than we imagine.
And that there is the lesson in itself.
People are way too caught up in their own lives to worry about what you’re doing in every aspect of your life.
Yes we’re going to make stupid decisions and do stupid things that may make us look like a fool to others, but trust me on this. Nobody really cares all that too much. They have their own worries and things going in in their lives.
Once you’re able to change this thought pattern and re-frame your decisions. It can be the most powerful thing you ever do. It’ll give you the confidence to truly do and say what you want.
Write that story or book. Ask the guy/girl out for a drink or whatever. Start that business. Quit that toxic relationship with a partner, friend, family member etc. Change jobs or whole careers.
The sky is the limit.
Stephen Walker.